Constant underlying sadness after bereavement

[Blossom4538]

Hi all,

I recently lost someone suddenly, who was close to me - it happened a few months ago. I have good and bad days but constantly have this feeling of sadness hanging over me. I feel so low, struggling through the days and weeks. Like I say, I do have better days. I simply feel as though I need to stop, I need more sleep, I need to rest and stop worrying about everything. I have a young child who needs a lot of attention.

I am worried about other family members who need my help. I’m useless at homeschooling currently, while my little one is off school due to covid. I need space. My DH is amazing and tries to understand, but also admits he can’t fully. :-(

I am in the same position although perhaps a little bit further down the line. I had a few weeks where I couldn’t shift the underlying sadness - although it has lifted more now.

What helped was acknowledging the feelings, having designated grief hours where my responsibilities were gone (ie an evening walk when my child was in bed and my husband could stay in) or even just evenings where I could go through old photos or listen to music.

The most important thing about grief is tackling it head on. Don’t bury your head in the sand, let yourself feel things. Talk about it. Talk about who you lost.

I have found with the lockdown it can feel a bit hopeless and isolating. What exactly is it that is overwhelming you? Is it your mental load S well As grief ? Delegate. Tell your husband you need a break and then take it.

I found myself feeling overwhelmed by everything so took myself off social media and just blocked everything out. It helped immensely. Reconnect to yourself.

I’m sorry for your loss.
Things do get easier. The sadness does lift.