Good afternoon you pleasant lot. I’m reaching out to see if someone can assist through experience or knowledge.
I’m 35, married to the love of my life since 17 and have 2 handsome teenage sons. We’ve not had much financial problems as I’ve always had good jobs which involve regular travel. My wife was diagnosed with MS after our 2nd son was born which gave her multiple mental and physical issues. She’s had trust issues which I’ve never understood as she refuses to give details (docs insisted it’s due to MS as she was fine before). She checks my phone after I sleep (out of guilt) but I’ve never really cared as there’s nothing to hide. However, last week for some stupid reason, I checked her phone and she had messages from a guy asking to meet up with her at a hotel or his house, she responded with “I can’t right now, I’ll let u know when”. Obviously I completely lost it for a sec and phoned the guy up and gave him a piece of my mind.
Later when I confronted her, she told me some silly lies, when I didn’t buy them she said that she responded to this guys ad off a dodgy website (CL) 8 months ago where he was seeking a friend according to her. They’ve never met (just regular chats over text that she would instantly delete) and she said she never intended to even though he’s only 15 minutes from my house.
It’s silly but I genuinely can’t think straight, can’t eat or sleep. I believe her (for now) that she never met him but the whole last 8 months are killing me. I’ve adored her my whole life and I don’t know any other way of life. She’s been my wife since I was 18, she was 21. I gave up my family as they stressed her out. I moved out of London 6 yrs ago and left all my friends as it suited her mental condition. I feel completely broken inside and don’t see the same girl I fell in love with. I keep face in front of everyone but breakdown like a child when on my own.
I don’t have any friends to discuss with and my family will only say we told you not to go crazy about her!
Any advice or coping mechanisms would be appreciated. I feel I’m days from doing something that will ruin my sons lives.