Want to improve mental health and how I get so bothered by others

[sleepybear123]

Hello
I have decided to take charge and start to put my own sanity and mental health first and this is my first step.
My MIL is and always has been very judgemental about the kids and especially about how clean the house is (she has OCD) and it's got to the point now that I get so anxious when she comes and I clean the house to within an inch of its life, make sure the kids look immaculate. I get myself so worked up about it and it's obviously no fun for any of us. She doesn't outright say anything about the house but I know she has said things in the past and it's always kind of stuck as I hate the thought of somebody judging me. She will make comments about the kids now like why does my little girl always wear wellies when her feet must get so hot (she just loves wellies and I honestly don't care).
Anyway I've decided that it's getting ridiculous and people should like people for how they are as trying to keep up to everybody's different standards is quite frankly exhausting.
I have decided to reign it back a big and if she doesn't like that a child may not have their hair absolutely beautiful or the house isn't looking like a show home then so be it. But I'm not quite sure how I can help myself over one it and not be bothered about what she may think. Does anybody have any suggestions / books or tips?may be I just make sure it's clean but don't worry too much about having the toys in 100% of their places.
Many thanks in advance

You need to decipher what’s a reasonable comment to what isn’t. If it’s reasonable and bothers you then take account of it and fix it, if it’s not or It doesn’t you need to mentally be able to shrug it off, force your mind not to go there. And force yourself not to act.

You have to remember she’s not well, if she has ocd, so she can’t help it.

The comment on the wellies, well I can see that if she’s wearing them in the recent heat, I’d probably also say why is she wearing wellies, I’d not want to myself, but all you need to say is she won’t wear anything else and we have tried with lots of options for her.

Yes, I do need to be able to move on and not let things get to me.
I assume she has OCD, I know she wouldn't describe herself as having an Illness, she is just very opinionated about most things and unfortunately lacks the ability to be able to hide her thoughts.
Oh the wellies wasn't in the recent heat. I think I just find myself really listening to the comments and because )as my husband readily admits they turn most things into a negative) I find myself wanting to please and remember. Like they always comment my little girl (who is potty training) it always naked so I not make more of an effort to make sure she's dressed nicely. They have made very harsh comments previously about our house (which has always been very clean and tidy) which is why I now feel the need to go even further, so that they can't think or say anything. I just hate when somebody is so opinionated about you but in reality deep down I should just care less.

Ps: it was just that wellies aren't as pretty as little girly shoes. I say do whatever makes you happy (it's basically an obsession with peppa pig