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Mental health

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How do you build self esteem?

1 reply

Lottiebugz22 · 26/06/2020 10:04

I used to be very confident until I hit my 20s where it has slowly deteriorated over the years. I knew I could do things if that makes sense, like get a new job and do well in the interview or make a fancy meal with the confidence that it would work out. Now however I question everything I do and don't feel capable. I have a stream of negative thoughts such as 'I could never do that' or 'It won't work because I won't be able to do it'. I've started to feel like a failure allot of the time and it's getting worse as I get older nearing 30s. It's like someone has come and replaced my personality with the complete opposite of what it was. There are certain members of my family that always seem to put me down in one way or another and make me feel inadequate. I know that they look down at me and see me as the weak link so to speak. What I don't understand is how I dealt so well with it for years but now I let it bother me. I also sense the expectation of failure from those around me when it comes to me starting something new and when I do fail they're there to critique. Why now does it affect me? It's so frustrating. How do I get the 'I can do this, I don't care if you think I can't' attitude back.

OP posts:
1235kbm · 29/06/2020 06:22

Hi, sorry your self esteem is low.

Can you first try to either limit or keep away from people who chip away at you? It's getting to you because you're internalising it. Stay away if you can OP at least for the time being.

Second, have you tried CBT? CBT helps you to catch and question negative thinking. You sound like you're ruminating at lot on negative thoughts and we tend to do that automatically. There's a free programme called MoodGym you might find helpful.

Start to set yourself small achievable goals and reward yourself when you achieve them. How about 'I'm going to cut down on caffeine this week by reducing coffee to three cups a day instead of four'? Something like that. Reward yourself at the end of the week by watching a favourite film, buying a book or something you've wanted for ages.

Start using positive affirmations in order to help rewire your brain. Something like: I believe in, trust and have confidence in myself.

See how you get on.

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