I simply can't do this anymore. Empathy/Words of wisdom please.

[veggiesausages]

Yes I know I'm lucky to have a healthy family and things could be much worse. Please don't flame me for this.

I am seriously at the end of my tether and I don't think I can do this anymore. I am exhausted, my marriage is strained, I look like shit, I can't concentrate on anything for more than five minutes. I am also crying, a lot. Cool as a cucumber DH is starting to crack now as well.

DH and I both work FT from home in high pressure jobs, are homeschooling an increasingly grumpy 6 year old and trying to keep an increasingly naughty, shit sleeper of a 2 year old from hurting/killing themselves.

I feel like both my kids hate me. I am incompetent at work.

School is 1 day a week from next week, for 3 weeks. In Wales. Childminder is shielding as she has bad asthma so I don't see myself feeling ok about sending my toddler back any time soon, even if they review the rules on that. I won't be able to find another CM or Nursery in my area, we're rural and they're few and far between.
My family are in Northern England so we haven't seen them in 4 months.

Most my friends are on furlough, yes I know that has it's own issues, but it's hard not to resent them when their instagrams show the wonderful things they're doing. I have to bite my tongue when they moan about being bored or that they're tired from their 10 mile hikes (yes really, in one case).

Would really appreciate some words of wisdom or empathy from others in the same boat.

It's absolutely rubbish isn't it. I really share your sentiment, it's bloody hard!

Also in a very similar position re full time working in high pressure roles whilst having a 4 year old at home. I'm in a position whereby I'm the person who has furloughed our workforce and I can't say that them being at home whilst being paid 100% hasn't irked me just a little bit whilst I feel like I'm just about keeping my head above water.

I don't know about you but I also feel quite anxious about the return to normal too, am I making the right decision sending DD back to school etc. That isn't helping my mood.

Just know that whatever you are doing, you are doing your best. Take a deep breathe, we've got this 💪

So sorry you're struggling OP. Is WFH taking up your whole day? I only ask as I'm technically WFH but because of how they've tailored it I can get my work done if I really dedicate 100% my time, in about 4 hours. If this is the case for you can you and DH tag team home schooling with work? If not could you reduce your hours, or any friends nearby where you could share the load with kids? Failing all that take sick leave?
Sorry I'm not able to offer up anything more practical!

So you are holed up at home working full time and looking after 2 kids full time?

I’d be booking a one way ticket to the South Pole by now.

One thing at a time.

Kids are bored and restless.
Everyone looks like waynetta slob right now.
Hasn’t work helped you out with childcare at all? Did you ask of you could move hours about or work condensed hours?
Are you both working in the same room?
Can you take a day/half day off and either blitz the house or sit on your backside and watch a film with the kids and a bowl of popcorn?

Yes it’s tough working and being locked down with the family when people who aren’t working seem to be having a ‘holiday’.

Thanks all. Some good ideas and thanks for making me feel like I'm not a failure!

I'm an academic on a small team and we're trying to get our course ready for online teaching in September. I can't take leave until we've made some headway. They are flexible in that I can work when I want and it's a fairly quiet time as we've finished marking etc... I'm hoping to take three weeks off in August but it really depends on how well everything goes. My husband is in WFH in social care but he has to be on call 9-5 which is the worst thing as it makes his work seem more important than mine as I have to drop things.

I know everything will be ok in the end.

All I can say OP is you're right in the thick of it at this life stage and it's a perfect storm trying to work from home with kids that age. In a year's time you will wonder how you did it. But do it you will, because there is no alternative. When I was in the hardest time of my life, what helped me was thinking to myself each morning - "this is impossible". Acknowledging that it was impossible somehow made it bearable. Sort of holding the impossibility and getting through the day, if that makes any sense? Forget how you look - you'll look better later. forget everything except being patient with your family and yourself. Use alcohol fairly liberally if you need to, just for now! They're my words of wisdom!

How would you feel about letting the 2yr old sleep with you and dh? Would that feel like regressing or might it be a way of everyone getting more sleep?