Health anxiety spiralling

[DivisionBelles]

I was recently diagnosed with womb cancer, totally unexpected finding and came as a real shock to me. Three weeks ago I had a total hysterectomy with my ovaries and cervix removed too. The results for the histology came back on Friday and it was the lowest grade and stage, so totally removed with the op.

However, a routine chest X-ray before the op showed up what my consultant described as 'a very very tiny shadow on my shoulders. Told me not to worry and that they see this stuff all the time. Whilst I was in hospital I had a repeat X-ray for a better look, but this has come back as inconclusive. I'm now booked in for a CT scan tomorrow. On Friday, again the consultant told me it was highly unlikely to be anything to worry about given the low grade and stage of my cancer and that it is in my shoulder. I cannot allow myself to believe this. I feel if I do, then if it is something nasty I won't have prepared myself for bad news.

Because my original diagnosis was so unexpected I've convinced myself that the cancer has spread and that the Drs are lying to me when they say not to worry. I know this is irrational but I'm struggling. I want to cry a lot of the time, I've convinced myself that my shoulder hurts which makes me think that there is something in there. I don't think it does, although my prodding and poking hasn't helped. I've been to my GP about health anxiety before but they just gave me Valium and sent me on my way.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but it does help to write it all down.

Hi op I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through all this. I'm a fellow cancer survivor and long term health anxiety sufferer so I know the mental trauma. I hope your ct scan went well today and you get the results fast. I had a more advanced stage and nothing spread so it sounds unlikely this is anything to worry about. I know it's easy to say and harder to do but try to stay positive. They got everything removed with surgery. Have you got much support at home? All the very best

How did it go OP?

I think its completely normal to worry after receiving news like this, especially after the first diagnosis. You've been though a tough time. X

I had the CT scan but won't know the results until my follow up appointment which is 12 weeks post op, unless they find something unexpected. I'm going to be a bag of nerves all next week now in case the phone rings.

Hi
I completely understand how you’re feeling. Last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer which came as a huge shock, I didn’t have a lump so was unaware.
Previous to that I had another health issue that came out of nowhere and now I worry about everything. I’ve had it described as not being able to trust your body as you feel it let you down. You thought you were fit and healthy but found out it wasn’t. My treatment was very quick from start to finish and whilst that was good added to the trauma as I didn’t have time to get my head round it. Since the end of treatment I’ve had a repeat mammogram & scan which was scar tissue. A bone scan as I have pain in my chest, that was all clear. I think this is a side effect of a cancer diagnosis and with time you’ll find away to stop panicking about every ache and pain but that’s going to take time.
I hope it’s good news with the scan and I really hope someone calls you and tells you either way rather than worry for 12 weeks, seems like a lot for someone to cope with.
Take care of yourself xx

Thank you for sharing your experience @July56

I think the speed of this has also sent me into shock similar to you. I only went for a scan in March, thinking it would be usual menopause related stuff (I'm 48). Three months later and I have had a cancer diagnosis, all my reproductive organs removed plus this added health concern. It's been a lot to deal with.

It sounds identical, diagnosed, mastectomy and then told off you go all done in just under 3 months at 50. Im hoping for recon but no idea when while we’re in this situation. I’m no where near recovered mentally yet and how I feel and haven’t been able to cope is a complete shock to me, and that’s added to the depression and anxiety too.
Have you had any counselling? I did a Hope course with Macmillan which was very good, for anyone recovering from cancer. I rushed into it though which with hindsight I think I should’ve waited and given myself time. Macmillan are brilliant for advice and support services. I only know those dealing with breast cancer otherwise I’d pass it on to you. They have a community forum which might give you support from others who’ve been through the same.
I’ve been told being diagnosed with cancer is a trauma and at times I can understand that. Someone asked me, if I had cut my hand open would I expect to be back to normal before it had healed? So why do I expect to be back to normal when I need to come to terms with the emotional side effect of treatment. You’ve gone into immediate menopause, lost part of you that makes you a woman and none of that is easy. Look after yourself for now and if you’re worried call your doctors, dont leave it as it’ll make you feel worse. Sending you a huge hug 🤗 xx