I can't do this anymore

[Daisycow667]

I'm sat by myself, a sobbing mess. I've self harmed. I'm so pathetic. I don't want to live anymore. Life is too hard. I'm tired of fighting. I don't want to leave my beautiful children. But I can't stay trapped here anymore. Please someone tell me what to do.

I feel like this most of the time. My husband says “It will get better!” and I say “But it always come back!” Recently I’ve been trying to focus on the fact that it DOES get better in between the bad times.

Keep going for your babies. You are the only person in the world that they need. Can you imagine another person loving your children the way you do? (Other than your husband, but arguably not even him). That’s why you’re so important.

You say you've self harmed, are you okay? Does it need seeing to?

We are all here with you, you're anything but a shit mum x

Don't be ashamed, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. You're ill, and the illness is lying to you and telling you you're not strong enough. You are strong enough. Is there anyone at all you can call to be with you? You just need to get through each minute at the moment.

Your beautiful daughter doesn't think you are shit. You are her entire world. No parent is perfect, but you obviously love her deeply, so please know that you are the most important person in her life and she relies on you. And whatever has happened, it doesn't matter. Tomorrow is a fresh day and there's another fresh day after that

It’s obvious how much you love your children. That screams out from your poss. You are NOT a shit Mum and have nothing to be ashamed of

All the things you’re currently thinking are not rational, they are a reflection of your current state of mind. Can you call someone, can you text the number that a previous poster mentioned (Shout)?

I've used shout. The man i chatted to was amazing and there was no pressure if having to actually talk to someone.

Shout is a text messaging service that might be helpful for you.

I try so hard to be a good person but no one ever treats me the same. I feel overwhelmed by your responses, you're all so nice. Thank you.
My husband has been a bit snappy with some snide remarks today when I already was feeling down. I just feel like I'm at rock bottom and just don't care if I don't get back up this time. If I didn't have my children I'd be out of here. It's so hard.

Please do seek support from the suggestions others have given above, you can do this, your DC love you unconditionally and they want and need you to stay around. Tomorrow can be a better day. Take care x

It is hard. But you've done it before and you can do it again. Being a good person is great. But being a happy person is also a laudable aim - you can't keep pouring from an empty jug. So time for you. What do you need right now to get through the next 10 minutes? The next hour? We're here for you

I think you're very brave. I sometimes wish I was brave enough to post on MN about how shit I often feel about my life, and I've been on here for over 8 years.

I'm so sorry your DP has been unkind to you. That's not nice.

But first, can we help you deal with the self-harm now - are you hurt badly?

Another handhold here OP

I feel the same, not right now this moment but every couple of days I feel exactly the same. So I promise you I know how it feels.

I'm not sure what advice I can give but if you find you want someone to talk to please message me. I'm happy to talk.

Keep strong for those precious children of yours. They love you.

OP, please try to focus on all of these lovely messages. If all you can see is negativity right now then let this be the little bit of positive you can hold on to.

Those kids need you.x.

Please get hold of the doctor and get some help.x.

I don't have any useful advice, but please know I'm sorry you're hurting, and I hope you can get the help you need, your children need you more than anyone in the world

Are you ok OP? Xx

If it's dark in your life right now be patient. The sun always rises.

Hi OP, we're all here for you whenever you need us.

My DD has autism and she's a great kid like yours is too. It's not always easy, I really know that, but she loves you and you're a great mum, I can tell how much your love your kids.

Keep talking to us, and the Samaritans too if you can xx

Just to say I've been thinking of you today, OP. I hope things are feeling brighter for you today.

Just checking in to see how you're doing OP. Thinking of you x

I get what you are saying and how you are feeling OP. I too feel the same way.
My boss told me a few weeks ago how shit my work is (in a professional manner), my DH shouts at me bruxa use I'm stupid and thick, my DS is getting distante from me. It's like the walls are closing in. How old are your kids OP? I know you want out but think how they would feel without you, their pain, their suffering for years to come. I know it's hard and the thought may make you cry, but you are strong, you came this far already OP. Few more baby steps. XX