I am not suicidal I won’t hurt myself I am just tired of everything I go from one disaster to another and I am tired of it all
Numerous redundancies a poor relationship with dm hasn’t always been like that probably the last 3 years she has rewritten my teenage years into something wild puts me down to my children. Poor relationship with dsister who is manipulative controlling interfering and financially irresponsible and abusive
Dd 2 years ago was self harming never really got to the bottom of it she doesn’t open up but put it down to exam stress fast forward to now she’s had to come home from university and I do feel like we have been walking on eggshells around her
I do have another post in teenagers she seemed to perk up recently kept mentioning a new friend who happens to be transgender f but that’s not a problem then I start hearing her crying in the night again then her friends are driving round looking for her so it was obvious she lied to me and them and was with this friend really again no really a problem
I walk into her room to check she’s up for work and saw her self harm only tiny so left it as she didn’t see me and she was going to work she has issues with relationships allows herself to be treated like shit falls madly in love after days
I have done the most awful thing which I have never done before and in a desperate bid to find out what is wrong I read 1 page of her diary and I was right to be concerned the friend in her words is being controlling and manipulating but she can’t leave him/her so self harming is the only way she has only known them 3 weeks I was heartbroken I was discussing it with dh and she overheard and hates me now
I am just tired of it all i want dd to be happy have healthy relationships be honest with me my own mental health isn’t great I work full time am home schooling everything falls onto me housework organising stuff I just want a break
Can’t help think they would be better off without me i don’t ever seem to get things right and I am tired of trying now