Anxiety - have I damaged my baby?

[RainbowOverHouse]

I have had a tough week. Decided to TTC after much deliberation and found out I was pregnant straightaway. I have spent the whole week in a horrible state of anxiety, worrying obsessively about certain things, catastrophising, reading things online to fuel my anxiety and not sleeping well. I was getting better then I read that anxiety before implantation can cause various developmental issues that affect the baby after they are born too. Now I think I have ruined it before it's even started and have actually considered a termination so I don't have to put my baby through it.
I am starting to think I am weaker than I thought and with Covid going on as well, I really should get help for my anxiety before conceiving. But it's too late now. I don't know what to do ;(
I only started feeling anxious after my first child was born but it never got really bad and I have been fine most of the time, just get the odd bout of anxiety for a few days some months, which I feel is hormone-related. But being pregnant seems to have triggered a lot more anxiety which I didn't know was there.
Have I damaged my baby, or can I just focus on doing better from here and it will be OK?

If anxiety damaged babies, then all babies would be because every pregnant woman goes through some anxiety, even just a little bit.

I think the research is more to encourage mothers to stay as calm as possible, you haven't ruined baby, try to be calm as you have a long way to go.
Can you look up grounding techniques online?

Try to relax you haven't harmed your baby by being anxious.
The levels of perinatal maternal mental health distress that may have an effect on the growing foetus are in the "very extreme" category. Only a tiny tiny proportion of mothers fit this category. If you look online pretty much everything you do from waking up to going to bed may cause issues but for so many of those things the problems are only at the extreme ends. Even water is a poison in high enough quantities!

Focus on what you are doing for your little one - every meal, drink, breath of air is providing them with what they need. When you sleep your body has time and energy to help them grow. You are doing so much without even realising!

It is not too late to get some help with your anxiety, now would be a perfect time. Do you think you could speak to your gp to see what help is available in your area. I was able to self refer for cbt early in my pregnancy. There was a 4-6 week wait for me so look into it sooner rather than later. It wasn't right for me in the end (it was a beginners course and I have had cbt before) so I was given the details of an organisation that supports women including during pregnancy. I've not taken them up on this as I'm now getting support from the perinatal mental health team.

You don't have to do this alone and unsupported.

V sorry you’re going through this. Your anxiety won’t have affected the baby.

Suggest seeking help from mental health services - it doesn’t matter that you didn’t do so before, and you still can. Help made a big difference to me during pregnancy.

When I was pregnant my mum was put on end of life care, I helped to care for her with my dad, and was there when she died. I was extremely stressed, anxious and distressed. Fast forward 6 weeks later. Exhausted from crying, supporting my Dad and arranging my mum's funeral, I find out my Dad has terminal cancer. Totally unexpected. I went through it all over again. Finding nursing homes, arranging funerals. You can imagine what state I was in.
My daughter was born, absolutely no issues. She's 2 now, and it hasn't affected her at all like I worried it would. Try not to worry.

No, you haven't done it any harm at all. The levels of anxiety would have have to be very extreme to harm the baby. Think constant fear for your life levels of anxiety.

@Hotpinkangel19 so sorry to hear about your experience, I can only imagine how difficult this would have been.

Thank you all for responding, I am so touched by the kindness. I signed up for online CBT a couple of weeks ago. I expect they are busier than usual but hopefully I will hear back soon.

I am feeling a bit better today but I realise my mental health is shaky and I need to do something before the next worry takes me down.

I have spent hours reading scientific research papers over the last few days to try and figure out whether I put my baby at risk of genetic abnormalities. I know so much about DNA I could now write my own. I realise this isn't normal behaviour.

I think deep down I am mainly struggling with guilt for my eldest child (what if his life is turned upside down by the new addition, what if the new child has additional needs and I have no time left for him, what if having another child destroys my mental health and I can never be a good mum to him again..). It's exhausting.

I sympathise with your anxiety I really do as a long term sufferer myself. But you are barely even pregnant how could you possibly have affected the baby so far. Hopefully you can find some relaxation methods that help you. Good luck with your pregnancy.

I had antenatal depression with my second. I had terrible anxiety too, once I was physically sick from being anxious and I also remember staring out of the window at a pigeon desperately wanting to be a pigeon to escape the feeling.

My baby was completely fine, she's five now so please don't worry. You won't have done any harm.

I needed anti depressants to get me on an even keel - not saying you do but they're totally fine in pregnancy if needed. Please speak to your GP or midwife as it sounds like you might need a bit of support. Good luck with the pregnancy, nature is extraordinary and your baby is incredibly well protected in there