I am new to this board. I have never been diagnosed with stress/ anxiety/ depression but I have had low periods over the years - mainly since having DC (5 years ago) but also back in my early 20's. I did speak to my GP about it last year but after I did an online assessment I was basically told to naff off.
The past few weeks though I have felt terrible. I can't sleep, I feel on edge and at times spiral into what I consider to be a mild panic attack. I have been drinking too much (not loads but more than I am happy with) in an effort to relax but I think that is actually hindering me now.
I think the combination of lockdown, work stress, agonising over sending DC back to school and nursery plus the news (rascism, transphobia) has made me tip over the edge. I am finding socialising really difficult, I have been chatting online/ video calls with friends/ family and feel I have to constantly justify myself, explain my thoughts, reasoning etc. I find it exhausting, like I am being attacked. My job is the same, always being questioned and having the justify my actions and a lot of pressure is being piled on me at the moment. I have had enough. I just want to be left alone. I want to curl up in bed and stay there.
Today, a few mums were having a chat after drop off. I couldn't handle it at all - a real fight or flight reaction. I couldn't breathe, I pretty much dashed off and cried on the way home. I have only just calmed down enough to write this.
I don't want to bother my GP again. I failed the assessment so I assume I am not considered bad enough for help and so drugs are the only other option. My DH will not countenance me taking drugs for this - he is very much of the "pull yourself together" club.
Is there any other help available? Where can I start looking? I have private healthcare and can afford to pay for help but I don't know where to start.