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Pregnant and partners just been diagnosed with schitzorfrenia

3 replies

Earthchild · 12/06/2020 10:27

I'm 24 and partners 23 he started having a breakdown prior to the knowledge of us being pregnant and then whilst he was sectioned in hospital I found out I was pregnant. He's back at home living with me and my family now, he's not violent or aggressive just very very depressed. All he can do is sleep all day and anytime the baby is mentioned it upsets him. He doesn't want the baby or the pressures of adult life and can't cope with the idea of us having a child. To make things more confusing he keeps saying he's gay then saying he's not so we're not sexually active anymore were more in a platonic relationship but he doesn't want to break up and blames me for making him think he's gay. I'm really struggling to stay strong.
I've struggled with depression my whole life and being around someone who's clinically depressed is really triggering. He's unable to work which puts the burden on me and as he's not from the UK or worked here long enough he can't receive and government benefits.
He keeps trying to commit suicide and I'm so terrified to leave him alone, when he's sleeping I constantly check his breathing incase he's done some thing without my knowledge.
Has anyone been through anything similar I'm not sure what to do. His family are all in romania so without me he's homeless and can't get accommodation from the council. I don't feel I can care for him and when the baby comes I fear it will get worse. This situation is very isolating and it feels as if noone can understand even though I have friends and family for support I don't want to add extra worry to them and don't want them to become hostile to him. I think I just needed to vent my stresses by coming here, I hope that people have some insight but if not just typing this helps.

OP posts:
AskingforaBaskin · 12/06/2020 10:32

You are not obligated to stay in a relationship that does not benefit you or bring you happiness. Very soon you are going to have somebody who is completely reliable on you and who's safety you are legally and morally reasonable for.

He is supposed to share this load with you. Wether intentionally or due to his MH he is not in a position to do this. So do you want to have the pressures of a new baby on top of what you are having to deal with from him now?

Is he receiving treatment? Ongoing medical help?
Even if as you say you just want to talk through what you're experiencing please do. It's vital you keep outside influences going so not to become isolated by him and his needs.

Earthchild · 12/06/2020 11:07

Thank you for your quick response! It's appreciated! It's hard because I really love him and really want him to get better and get back to who he was. I feel like if I abandon him now he will just kill himself or spiral and get 100x worse!
He's taking antipsychotic meds and it's stopped all his delusions and voices etc but they just make him so depressed.
I'm waiting for the Romanian borders to open and then I think I will try to encourage him to go back home to his family for a few months until the baby is born. I just don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning him when he needs me most!

OP posts:
AskingforaBaskin · 12/06/2020 11:49

I can't imagine how difficult this is for you.
You can support him on perusing the correct medical treatment and to do what he needs to try and get to a better place but non of his recovery can involve your suffering.

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