Hi all. I am experiencing many days of very low mood recently due to the lockdown. I'm, for the first time in my life, also experiencing anxiety, feeling out of sorts, jumpy, like I'm nervous or have had too much caffeine when I haven't.
I'm a single parent to 2 children, aged 4 and 2 and obviously 11 wks in lockdown has really taken its toll on my mental health which is to be expected. I am not taking or have ever taken medication for my mood although it's something I have considered getting help for many times. This week again I thought I would really have to speak to my GP, which I dread the thought of,
because I just seemed to grind to a halt.
Prior to this I had good lockdown days and bad, like everyone. But this past week I have been in a real slump where I just want to spend the days yawning, have no motivation at all and can hardly talk because I feel so low and tearful. I don't want to get dressed, clean up - I do these things but it's a struggle.
I'm sleeping fine and while I can't get any time away from my kids to go for a walk, I do have family support by telephone/ chats in the garden. My routine feels very unrelenting.
A big trigger for me is my weight. I have had a lifelong battle with this -- I'm now that 40 and can't remember a time when I was happy with my body or not obsessing about weight, even as a child. My BMI is and has always been about 26.5, never less than 24 and probably never much more than what it is now. I have put on about 6 or 7 pounds in lockdown and this is really bothering me because I will really struggle to lose this.
If I weigh myself in the morning and get a bad result I get in a funk for the rest of the day. I do realise that sounds trivial to some, silly and vain.
If I don't weigh myself my mood is better but I worry about my weight getting out of control and it does actually because I eat more.
I am eating out of boredom, comfort eating, eating the leftovers, treat mentality, eating in front of the tv after the kids have gone to bed, all the usual. Plus this week feeling physically jumpy where I want to eat to settle myself. I think about food and my weight endlessly.
Can anyone identify with this? I'm interested in the body image/ obsessing angle, not diet advice though I obviously appreciate the link between the two. Tia