Trigger warning suicide

[Theodoreb]

My friend committed suicide Saturday he has been asking me for ages to go out with him but up until last Saturday I said no as there is a 6 year age gap he is younger than me last Saturday however I decided to go for it. We were talking loads then Thursday he stopped mailing I asked him why and he didn't respond. I with my paranoia assumed he had changed his mind about the relationship then Saturday morning I woke up to news that he had committed suicide the night before.

Why didn't I realize there was something up instead of as usual thinking something was wrong with me. I am so sad and desperately sad for his mum he was so young it's not fair. Everyone on fb is saying about how happy he always seemed. I just wish I had pushed a bit harder to find out what was wrong. He was such a kind man and never judged anyone it seems this world always takes the nice ones.

I’m so sorry OP, that’s awful. I know of so many young men who went through the same as your friend. Have you got family and friends you can talk to about the situation? sm

Oh darling this isn't on you. If anything, you lightened his load at the end. I promise you that it's never just one thing, or even two or three things, it's the whole world and so much more.

The fact that he seemed so happy doesn't surprise me at all. He was probably one of those kind souls who made the world a better place for other people, but felt too much too hard and didn't know how to manage that. You did NOTHING wrong.

Honour him now by removing the stigma of mental health difficulties that still exist. Encourage people to talk. Darkness Into Light. Pieta House. Samaritans. Good to Talk.

And be kind to yourself as he would have been.

Thank you both for your kind words my mum has been listening as my mood and how I feel about it seems to fluctuate, Yesterday I went had a sleep when I heard as usually that the only way to switch my brain off (bipolar and schizophrenia) I been coping today by keeping busy. Plus this morning when my youngest was asleep I went and jumped in with her as if you jump in bed with her she automatically gives the best hugs ever while still asleep.

I won't even be able to go to his funeral but my sister has offered to go to the club I usually saw him in and have a few drinks there with me.