Struggling to shake the low feeling off☹️

[granadagirl]

I know it’s a bad time for a lot of people with the lockdown at the moment, but I just can’t stop the one particular thought when I wake
“ what can I do today”
I’m aged 62. Don’t work and no young kids
Son aged 30 and dp

Bit off background, I’ve suffered anxiety/depression on/off for most of my life

Going through menopause was the worse depression I can ever remember. Anxiety was super high to the point you can’t eat, that nausea feeling you get.
I was under the secondary mh team for about 18mths eventually a change of med and time and I got through the worse.
I now still have better and bad days, but I’d say more better recently.

As I said above about what to do to fill day, nights are not as bad as I have tv then bed.
it’s really took its toll today on me. I’ve had constant chatter going on in my head!! It’s like it’s an ocd thought playing over and over.

Tried going out, that in its self was a real push for me. Which I don’t understand because I wanted to do something yet had the can’t be arsed attitude that it was holding me back from doing anything
We went to garden centre, the queue was massive!! So just turned round and went home
Put a series on Netflix, again such a struggle to relax stop that head chatter going in the background, it’s almost like a rumination of the way I feel and what I’ve thought about.

You probably think I’m crazy, or what the hell she going on about.
But do you ever get the feeling, you want to do something yet you don’t ?? can’t push/motivate yourself and sit there??
It’s like I think if I don’t do anything I’ll get depressed.

Dp just asked do I want a nice bath running later, already I’m thinking NO it will make me think more lay there!!!! Wtf I’m loosing the plot and way to much over thinking

I want it to stop 🛑

I get the constant chatter thing in my head. I’ve gotten into the habit of having to have the radio on when I’m cooking and listening to a podcast to fall asleep as I can’t stand my own thoughts going round and round endlessly.

I have two young kids and often wake up thinking what can I do today. I also get the I want to do something or I’ll feel down but I can’t bring myself to do anything or go out. Then I feel worse. It’s great you mad yourself even if you turned back. Just keep pushing to get out even a little bit.

I’m 36 and have suffered with poor MH since my teens. I get very down just before my period and I’m dreading the menopause. I hope someone comes along with some proper advice but I just wanted to say You are not alone with how you feel. And I think given the circumstances you are doing amazingly.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. With nothing open there isn’t much more you can do than go for a walk or watch Netflix. Be kind to yourself and maybe think of a new hobby to start or continue with ? Cliche I know, but better than being stuck in your brain with your own thoughts. Start small. Sending you

Thanks for replying Ready 😀
Mh is the pits isn’t it, it would be more acceptable if you had it once and never again!
Oh that wonderful thought.

It must be hard for you with 2 little ones to see to all day, and mh issues especially when the low mood and high anxiety feeling are Lurking. You’ve quite a way till menopause just yet, so enjoy the years now
Even if you think the crap some days.

It’s weird because when I’m like this, thoughts/ overthinking I can’t concentrate on anything😡 and like a cat on hot bricks but feel flat.
I read, tv, colouring, garden (definitely a gardener) but try and make it look nice.
We were out yesterday doing garden, it looked really nice when we finished.
Today, you would think we hadn’t touched it
With the wind we’ve got at the moment Leaves are everywhere.

Everyday is the same, even without the lockdown.
Im an introvert and mh issues most of my life have made things even harder. I don’t Have friends as over the many years I’ve found they don’t really understand my anxiety
I’ve had “ oh just do it”
I’d rather just go to things when I can, and come away when I’m ready and not be invited and have to stay. That’s just me

Take care