Are you frightened of me?

[Theodoreb]

I have bipolar and schizophrenia. I'm not asking about the bipolar but the schizophrenia. Do you feel frightened of me? Would my lack of facial expressions and severe lack of emotion even when talking about something extreme scare you? Or my lack of eye contact? Does me talking to voices only I can hear and my inappropriate humor cause people distress if so can I ask why please? I know I'm different but I've never hurt anyone intentionally but people find me odd and it's hard for me to make friends (unless bipolar mania is active when schizophrenia symtoms are disguised apart from hallucinations) so just wondering.

I think it's the 'fear of the unknown' that makes some people nervous. I work with people with complex needs including some clients with schizophrenia an I'm cautious. I've had some experiences with clients getting angry at me because they were told I had bad intentions by the voices. I found that quite scary as it's difficult to disprove over the course of an art therapy session when they trust their voices more than some women they see once a week. I'm sure you are a lovely and you sound like a very self aware person. Sadly there is still a lot of negative stigma around mental health issues but hopefully one day that will lessen.

It's very brave of you to speak up about it.

I know you won't see this right now because you've gone to bed.

I've done, or do, some of what you've detailed, but for other reasons. I have autism and adhd plus chronic illnesses. There was a period when I was too sick to look after me and my child. Everything is fine now.

I have had several friends with schizophrenia throughout my life. They weren't all the same. Looking back at it, so many of my peers had (have) various disorders and syndromes and I don't remember anyone ever questioning any of it. I think it brought us together.

Sometimes I've encountered people I've not known who have behaved and spoken and moved erratically and yes it scares me but I'm not good with unpredictability, and I've also experienced a lot of abuse and am wary of people.

I would have no problem once I knew you.

Not wanting to be touched isn’t abnormal to me, some people don’t, it’s your body after all!
Also, what you described when talking about hurting people what stood out for me was that you were unwell, that’s totally different to being cruel or deliberately hurtful.
Do you have anyone who could help as an advocate when talking to your psychiatrist? It might be helpful to have someone who can speak up with you and make sure you’re fully involved in discussions about treatment.
Mind.org.uk have a section on their website about it, perhaps ask a trusted friend to read through, and if you read through and think it might be a good idea, see what they say?

No you wouldn't scare me. I've spent the last 20 years working with and for people with mental health issues like you.

Not at all. I've studied mental health disorders for years. My DH doesn't like eye contact so I'm used to that, and I'm not an emotional person so not reacting to extreme subjects also doesn't bother me. In fact, we'd probably get on quite well.

I wouldn't be frightened but I might think you're being rude if I didn't know about your situation. Reading this thread has definitely given me food for thought about judging people's reactions and taking them personally. Something I will try to actively avoid doing from now. But unfortunately social "norms" are so engraved in so many of us I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people had the same reaction to a conversation like you described.

Bless you op, people's reactions say more about them and their thinking about mental illness. Like schizophrenia is widely misunderstood. I think all you can do is try and follow social conventions or remove yourself if you are feeling too much for people temporarily. My DB has schizophrenia. I hope you can find a good balance that works for you.

Just out of curiosity, if you don't have anyone else with you to explain, are you able to/do you choose to explain anything about your condition to people? And if so, does it change their reaction to you in any way?

Thank you all.

@9while9andImWaiting my best friend the one I mentioned has adhd and my daughter has autism and we get on very well. We understand each other's needs and are much more understanding and empathic than a normal person. Thank you for saying you also had a period when you couldn't look after your kids I feel very guilty but I was so unwell that I did what I thought was best even if that wasn't myself.

@Ladydoc I don't need a advocate my psychiatrist and me have a extremely trusting and brilliant professional relationship, I am always involved in any decisions he tells me all the information and then the ultimate decision is down to me. However the only thing I'm unsure of is we discussed when I got my children back that it would help my stability if signed something to give my doctor a easier time sectioning next as I have already in sound mind gave him consent meaning he can apparently force it at a lower threshold and I get help quicker which has a better outcome but I don't know what I signed just what it does.

@Gooseygoosey12345 I like to think we would get on well.

@Nixee2231 yes I am able to tell someone what I do that's odd and certain things I don't like but I wouldn't tell them I have schizophrenia I would just say I have bipolar as most people wouldn't know enough to tell the difference but would know bipolar is severe enough to warrant changes without them being frightened of me. When very unwell I have to listen to music at all times and I explain as I think they may think it's rude. One thing I do hate explaining is if I get anxious or uncomfortable I have to take my shoes off and sit on settee cross legged as it allows me to centre myself but I think it's rude to ask to put your feet up on someone's sofa you don't know so don't like asking and will usually sit on the floor instead and simply tell them I prefer sitting on floors.