Terrified of pregnancy

[AnxiousAnnie13]

I’m being totally ridiculous. I have an 11 month old DD and am so terrified of being pregnant again. I didn’t have what anyone would consider a bad pregnancy but because I have had anxiety and severe emetophobia for years, being pregnant really ruined my mental health. My morning sickness was just nausea but I was on anti sickness tablets throughout and I spent 7 weeks signed off work and not getting out of bed because I just couldn’t cope. There’s no way I can do it again, especially with DD because I couldn’t look after her.
A few weeks ago we had a contraception mishap and I was worried I could have got pregnant, but I had a couple of negative pregnancy tests and then about 2.5 weeks later my first period after giving birth arrived. DH and I had sex the other day, using contraception, but now I’m really worried because it was during peak fertility time based on when my last period started. I know how unlikely it is that I’ll be pregnant, but I know I’m going to spend the next two weeks anxious about it, and I’m scared I’ll never be able to enjoy sex again.
I’ve tried the pill but it makes my anxiety worse, so want to avoid any hormonal contraceptives. Even if was on them I think I’d still sorry! I honestly want to be sterilised because I can’t cope with this at all. I can’t live like this until menopause!

Have you talked about this with your GP? They may be able to offer you different anti-emetics which take the nausea away, or counselling of some kind to help with the phobia. Or they might suggest contraception options.

Emetophobia can be helped massively (I suffer from it too, and have had therapy which vastly improved things - I'm considering hypnotherapy as a next step as well).

Have you looked into non-hormonal contraceptives, like the copper coil? I cant take any hormonal contraception but there are other options.

I 100% get your fear. I cried on the way out of hospital on DD1 because I knew I had to do it all again. I didnt want to leave DD without a sibling. I am now 16 weeks pregnant. I have survived but I cant say I am enjoying things.

If you dont want another baby, then talk to your gp. They can help. There are ways of avoid these worries.

Hi OP, I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm coming up 36 weeks pregnant with our first and very much wanted baby and have had an extremely tough pregnancy with my anxiety being unbearable and also severe sickness and becoming anemic. There is no way I will be having another baby and I am feeling very nervous about having sex again after the baby is born! I can't take hormonal contraceptives and have tried the copper coil previously but that caused awful bleeding and pain.

Me and DH are trying to work out what to do, obviously there's condoms but they don't feel safe enough and my DH doesn't like them either. He doesn't want any more children either but also doesn't want to have a vasectomy which is understandable.

Have you spoken to your partner about a vasectomy?