I was diagnosed with ptsd plus a few other things a few years ago. Had approximately 2 years of therapy on the NHS and was finally back to being a functioning person. 2020 was going to be my year, 3 holidays booked, ds starting school, I had friends, a social life and for the first time in a very long time I felt happy.
Now I spend far too much time wishing I was dead. Not sleeping without pills, not eating, need to check the door is locked multiple times an hour, every noise terrifies me, cant concentrate. My 5 year old is picking up on it despite my best efforts. Been prescribed setraline but all it's done so far is give me a headache (2 weeks in).
I just can't see things improving. I can't wear a mask due to my ptsd. I struggle with change anyway at the best of times but I hardly dare go out at the moment. It just feels like my life is over.