I’m hoping that writing my feelings down will help. In the middle of last year I lost my dog around my dads birthday who passed at a young age - this I think has triggered of anxiety and made me realise that I hadn’t grieved for my dad. Now I know what your thinking “just a dog” but he was my whole routine and life. I went to the doctor for a different reason until she asked “how are you” and I broke down. She thought I had anxiety and grief depression but because I refused pills and I was doing enough self care she was happy ... but for the last 6 weeks I’ve been struggling, it has nothing to do with the current situation (Covid) but the feeling of being useless, not good enough, I’m scared of losing everyone me, I’m a full time carer for my grandmother and I am getting some help from carers, crying and I have ocd which is getting worse etc.
I’m not one for going to the doctors - In fact I’ve got a fear of them and I only go when I know things are serious. I decided that I finally needed professional help and called my doctors today, I couldn’t even get passed the receptionist who said “we can’t help but phone a helpline”.
I am struggling as it is and it took a lot of courage for me to phone the doctors today just to be told they can’t help which I will admit has put me offnphoning the helpline. I don’t feel suicidal just really low and crappy. I am a mental health first aider so I know the steps I need to take but I feel today has just pushed me back.
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