Partner has gone too far!

[aljone]

We have 2 children (1 and 4). Been together 5 years and they've not all been plain sailing.
She has a habit of causing arguments, focusing in on something or someone be it friends or family and not being able to focus in on what's important. In the eraly days it was my past and ex partners, even though there was no need. I've never strayed or given her need for concern. I know it's insecurity but over the years repeatedly would go to her parents during argemuments however small, bot would happily get involved.
Yesterday it went on to another level. She has called the police before, for no need whatsover. She's threatened to do it in the past again. Yesterday started with some complaint about her sister, then her friends and then to me. She has been a nightmare since lockdown but yesterday suddenly with her Mum and Dad behind her she was threatening to call an abuse line for women and the police. Then she called both my parents who up until now have sat on the sidelines and tried to appease her. When not greeted with the tone she wanted she turned on them as well.
I agreed to go out for the afternoon however when I returned she has locked me out. Wouldn't let me in. I stayed in my Dads which is not conveniant as he has no internet and I work from home. Apart from the fact Ilive 30 mins away now and he doesn't exactly live a normal lifestyle as he's a bit of a hoarder.
I love her and want back in the house yet I'm sure her parents are poisoning her against me. My Dad tried talking to her parents and my Mother my partner herself. My Dad was amazed how childish they where and arrogant. My Partner just hurled abuse and was absolutely awful to my Mother.
What do I do now? I know she isn't well and although diagnosed with anxiety and given numbers for counseling last time went. She has phoned none of them and when subscribed pills in the past doesn't take them.
I want us to be happy and I'm certain we can be.
How do I make her realise and can I get back into our home? Both of us are on the mortgage.

You also need to document what she is doing to you (or has already done) including the incident where she threatened to knife you and if there were any witnesses. I think you will find that you will need to rely on that in the future. I would also be tempted to report the knife threat incident to the Police but not ask them to act on it, but more to let it lie on file but BEFORE thinking about doing it, I would discuss your situation with a solicitor first.

Sorry if all a bit fragmented, probably because of my own mental state.
I've reached out to her Sister and Parents. It's fractured due to their constant involvment tbh. I've fell out with them before and I think all of this is perhaps revenge that's the only conclusion I can come to with regards to her parents.

If your partner is mentally unstable and off any medication are the children safe

Also who owns the house or who’s name is on the lease of it is rented.
She can’t just kick you out of your home.

Get back into the house and then look to calling your GP to see what can be done about getting your Dp stable or just getting her removed from the house if she is being abusive towards the children.

Unfortunately I have known people like this and the truth, reasoning and logic aren’t their strong point so it is like talking a different language to them.

They will lie and act out a fantasy and people lap up what she is saying till someone comes along and points out a flaw in their story.

We both own the house. Joint Mortgage.

I wouldn’t put up with the constant threats of police and abuse helpline as a way to manage your behaviour. I would definitely leave.

I’m a family solicitor.

You need an occupation order from the court to be able to get back in. I’d also be issuing divorce proceedings if I were you. She sounds a nightmare. I’d run for the hills and be seeking care of the children.

Please protect your children from this woman.

You both sound toxic and honestly I don't fully believe you are 'mr innocent' here.

Why have you fallen out with her family? Why has she phoned the police on you several times during the relationship?

She has ended the relationship and it sounds for the right reasons.

'ukgift2016' She has phoned them once. Threatened on numerous occassions perhaps because she knows or has become accustomed to thnking that's her only choice seeing as it's only her parents who entertain her.
I've fallen out with her parents as they are doing nothing about her state of mind. I've found solace in fact her sister agrees as she is on anxiety tablets and says she definitely needs help.

Her parents I find are as toxic as her. I get the impression that their daughter could indeed attack me with a knife and that would be ok, however if I where simply to say forget the Kids Dental appointment I would be villified. That's what sort of perdantic juvenile behaviour comes from her parents.

Move on. You got lucky getting out of that family

She’s frightening the children.

She won’t take meds.

She’s making your lives miserable.

You need to start making steps towards leaving her and get custody of the kids. Start planning now but delete any internet searches and mumsnet in your search history.

So you're spending time contacting her parents and her sister to complain about her violent and irrational outbursts, when you should be contacting the police. If what you are saying is completely true then you need to take steps to protect yourself.

Please stop contacting her family and coming online to describe how awful she is. That's a terrible trait and doesn't reflect well on you.

For whatever reason she feels 'threatened' by you and is lashing out, so contact the police, your GP also and ask for a referral to social services. If you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to lose and they will help you.

I think you should call an abuse line yourself tbh.