Tips for getting through depression

[Username164]

Be interested to hear from anyone who has gotten through depression or who is coping with it at the moment- what is helpful and how do you cope when its rough?

These were my experiences here : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/3899008-Lowest-point-of-my-life

My GP has prescribed Mirtazapine 15mg. I have been struggling with sleep so I am hoping this will help. I have had very low feelings about being alive and I don't want them to come back.

Will this make me feel worse or will it make me feel better? Will I still be able to function at work when I am taking it as not going back to work soon is likely to make me feel worse in the long run.

I wrote to a cbt service a few weeks ago and got the appointment through today, its tomorrow which is good.

I can't talk to friends or family at the moment, is this normal? As in I can manage a short surface conversation but I am largely sitting here trying to focus minute to minute.

Maybe I will try and have daily contact with work colleagues, family at least once a week and schedule catchups with friends. Anyone know any good online classes at weekends?

I'm quite anxious about work still.

Thanks in advance.

Hi :) I’ve suffered from severe depression and PTSD in the past. It’s really fucking awful and I’m sorry you’re going through it.

In terms of medication and CBT and things, I’m of the opinion that different things work for different people so you might as well try whatever’s available. Hopefully the CBT and mirtzapine will give you a boost :)

Totally normal to struggle talking to people, I couldn’t hang on to a train of thought and I really struggled to read too. When I was with other people I felt like I was trapped behind an invisible glass box and I just couldn’t connect? I think it helps to be around people even if it’s just quietly watching tv together, although obviously that might not be possible right now!

My biggest tip is that it’s better to half ass something than not do it at all. Dump your dishes in the sink and let them soak even if you can’t be arsed to wash them properly. Give yourself a wipe down with some baby wipes if a shower is too much. Do whatever the barest minimum, tiniest step is. There’s no point telling yourself you’ll go for an hour walk every day but a walk around the street might be feasible. It really does feel better to have achieved SOMETHING, and you should feel proud of yourself for whatever that something is.

For my anxiety I have a calm down box with some colouring books, pencils, playdo, nice stones from the beach and some nice smelling hand cream in it. When I get really panicky and dissociative I can pull it out and ground myself a bit.

Pay attention to your physical comfort and stick to the bare minimum philosophy. You might not be up to cooking but try and get a ready meal with a vegetable in it. Keep a bottle of water with you so you don’t have to get up. I used to make myself a little nest on the sofa with my duvet.

Remember no matter how dark it gets, things can and do get better. I was so, so unwell for a long time and I’m doing pretty well these days. You’ve just got to hang in there xxx

@riotlady I just wanted to say thanks for that lovely post, especially the last paragraph. I’ve been struggling and it really feels sometimes that there’s no way round this.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP

@AgentCooper Please don't apologise, you didn't hijack it at all. Sorry to hear it feels like there is no way round, I felt that too but sharing it did help. There are people and support out there that can help. Do you have any support for mental health?

I've git through major depression. A mixture of things. Short term very small things. Dont push yourself. Try to have faith that this is an illness and it will run its course.
No matter how impossible that seems.
Long term, for me medication, CBT and lots and lots of walking.

Having a small supportive group who understand depression.

@riotlady Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and tips.

I'm still not sure about the mirtazapine. If anyone knows if it will lift my mood let me know. I went for a walk and filmed it, it was really nice. I am also listening to comedy on audio which is really nice.

Managed to talk to work. That was really hard. I literally thought they'd try and get rid of me but they didn't and were really supportive.

It is a bit like a wall, I think my brain is very depressed. I think I know why it might be as I had some loss recently.

All those tips are really helpful thank you, and that last point that things can and do get better. Just like @agentcooper said it means so much to have someone come and shine a light.

Today was a rollercoaster of up and down feelings, I cried at times, but the biggest help was talking to work as it gave me a bit of a blanket. I also booked an online workshop so I am proud of that. I got a page a day diary a while ago, which is really helping distinguish the days.

Huge hugs to anyone needing some care - one day at a time.

Get out for a walk every day. If you don't make it out one day, don't beat yourself up. Just decide to try again tomorrow.

You sound as if youre doing a lot of the right things tbh!

I was bordering on depression while I was unemployed. You know when youre mostly ok but not particularly happy, lethargic, sleeping a bit late, struggling to find motivation etc and you could go either way? I started listening to my dad wrote a porno and honestly laughing that hard really kept my head above water.

Generally I find podcasts really help to ease the loneliness. Its like having company! You mention loss. Id recommend listening to griefcast - comedians talking about grief. I found it helpful to hear about others' experiences and laughing about such a heavy subject is weirdly cathartic.

I also find externally imposed structure helps. Normally thats going to work, or out to zumba class rather than exercising at home. Or watching a tv program at a set time that I cant stream. Im wfh atm so stop at 1150 to watch extreme hoarders. I love it. Im so much more motivated to actually work because I set myself a target that before extreme hoarders I will do xyz.

The above works for me, it might help you too but dont feel pressured to do something because randoms on the internet say its good.

@AgentCooper aww thank you for saying that, I’m glad to have helped a tiny bit :)

@Username164 it sounds like you’re taking some really good steps! One day at a time is definitely the way to do it. Keep chipping away at the wall and one day you’ll be walking in the sun or watching something funny and go “holy shit, I actually feel GOOD!”

Echoing what the people above have said, in particular @riotlady - love your words!

Another depression survivor here. Fell into a big black hole last year when we moved in with MIL and honestly could not for the life of me see the light. I had quite bad postnatal depression the year before, which I had recovered from, so this time hit me much worse. Anyone else find each time it returns it's even harder than before?

I was skeptical and nervous about medication. Put it off for as long as possible, but as someone once said to me on here - I couldn't have felt any worse, so why put it off? Bit the bullet and took it, a few rubbish side effects for a few days, aside from that, best thing I ever did to help pull me out. I will forever be thankful for antidepressants. Would never have imagined myself saying that!

This may sound harsh. And it is. But it's like walking through thick mud. You need to get those feet out of the mud and keep going. Keep on keeping on. Do whatever you have to do to keep going. I know this is so cliche, but eating healthily, exercising and meditating ARE game changers. Find me someone who says they aren't. My mental health plummets when I eat crap, when I don't get off the sofa or when I battle with my thoughts. I read The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle and that really changed my mindset. I spoke to anyone who would listen (who I trusted). I educated myself on the things I struggle with. I self referred for online therapy which I still have every week. I unfollowed people on social media who made me feel inferior. I'm much more conscious now of just being. If that makes sense. Sitting with my feelings, not pushing them away. Accepting that this has happened to me, and may do again at some point. Acceptance is key, well that's what I've learnt anyway.

You will overcome this. Be your own best friend and look after yourself. No one knows you any better than you know yourself x

Sorry just to add, I'm really glad you spoke to your work about everything. It will especially help if you're having a bad day and don't want to put on a brave face. I work part time in an office and appreciate the space/time away from home/adult conversation.

Routine is key for me too. Getting up at the same time every day, cup of tea and cuddle with my son first thing. Shower soon after that etc etc. Although a little bit of change each day is a good thing too. Taking different walks, making different lunches, talking to different people instead of avoiding them.

I’ve more or less recovered from major depression. One of my medications was quetiapine which is similar to mirztazipine. It helped me a lot - mainly it allowed me to sleep, which I desperately needed. It sedated me so I was less anxious and able to, for example, vegetate in front of a tv programme without being consumed by depressed thoughts. I think this is so important, it gives your system a break from the thoughts and allows it to start healing.

Loads of good suggestions above. Take it gently. Drink water, get fresh air, try to do nice things for yourself (baths are nice), don’t worry if you find it hard to focus of concentrate. I listened to a lot of Stuff You Should Know podcast episodes, the presenters are very friendly and it was interesting but not too challenging. I also like QVC Beauty for mindless background chat - nothing bad ever happens in QVC world and it’s quite comforting! (I never buy anything).

Don’t worry that you can’t communicate with friends and family - you will be able to again as time goes on. Take it one day at a time and get all the support you need. You absolutely can get better.

I also take quetiapine like a PP, and it helps me sleep so well, only take it before bed though. Mood stabilisers really do stop the low swings, though most anti depressants didn’t do much for me so I’m on an old school one called venlafaxine. Best thing I did was book a private psychiatrist who helps me figure out what meds work for me, and counselling on and off for 20 years! Also sleep, exercise, meditation, writing, learning to bat away intrusive thoughts.

I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your replies, because its like a fucking daily battle. I can commit to like four hours. Anything beyond that can fuck off.

Honestly means a lot to know other people did do this because when you are in it there is no end.

I am finding the thought cycle a bit exhausting. I am taking promethazine which is Nytol, so at least sleep is a relief.

Yes focus is hard, I don't know there seems to be a lot of paperwork associated with depression .

I love that about QVC! I like First Dates, Gogglebox, it's just like mundane, not too dramatic. Also how lovely is Lorraine on Good Morning.

Found a Podcast called Locked Down (?) of comedians doing interviews. I listened to Griefcast before bed, I know what you mean strangely comforting. I wanted to read Power of Now for ages and had a credit so bought it.

Urgh sorry that's all I can write now but thank you.

Hi @Username164. I’m sorry you are feeling so down at the moment - I’ve been where you are, and I understand how awful it is.

I just wanted to reassure you that I have been taking Mirtazapine for 2 and a half years now, and it has revolutionised my life. I was in such a bad way with depression, anxiety and insomnia, and it made me feel so much better almost straight away. It completely calmed down my racing thoughts, and my symptoms of anxiety, such as racing heart and shaking hands completely went away. I sleep like a baby every night and I wake up feeling refreshed - the deep, refreshing sleeps have improved my mental health almost 100%. I really hope it helps you as much as it has helped me 😀

Thanks @Killerpinkflamingo I took it the other night, I think I had the best night sleep in a decade. It did slow my thoughts right down too.

I really need to get a grip on worry. I'm not even conscious I am worrying half the time.

I have been sort of okay although not so great at this juncture of the week. Just going to think about this evening and nothing beyond.