I had a thread on here but can't find my login so made a new one.
Long term PTSD, anxiety/depression (mainly anxiety) sufferer. I had an extremely severe traumatic event happen to me as a teenager and then further more 'chronic' trauma until late 20s.
Surprisingly I've mainly coped ok for many years now. Whilst I know my feelings are not 'normal' I've functioned, held a stressful ft job, Parenting etc.
Until coronavirus. It has triggered all my fears at once (the virus not the lockdown) and for the first time ever I basically had a nervous breakdown. Had to leave work. Severely mentally ill with constant panic attacks, OCD, and almost complete inability to function. My family had to look after me and were on the verge of having to look after DC.
I increased my long term counselling but it wasn't enough. I eventually was persuaded to get help from the GP and got Citalopram and diazepam until they kicked in. The citalopram has began working, my emotions are much more level and my panic is not reaching the unbearable stage. I'm so so thankful for this as couldn't go on how I was.
The thing I'm still struggling with is motivation. To do anything. Still only managing the very basics and with great difficulty. So feeding DC, telling them to shower, exercise, school work etc (they are not young Children), trying to interact a bit, doing dishes when there are none left, barely showering myself. I'm so tired despite not doing much and everything feels so hard to do, like wading through treacle.
Taking the citalopram, doing counselling, trying to do some CBT online and relaxation music.
I make routines and plans and end up just staring into space. I know I need to do it for DC. How do I make a routine and more importantly STICK to it?? Sorry for the long self indulgent post, just wondering if anyone who has been in such a low place has managed to get motivation??