Lowest point of my life

[Username164]

I don't want to be dramatic but I am in some kind of living torment at the moment.

I am literally in hell, a really really dark place.

Its 4.50 am and I have not slept.
I am meant to work at 9am.
I am thinking about suicide a lot.
I worked out how to do it today which scares me.
I have never felt like this before.
Shall I just go to A&E? I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm so sad and I can't just do it. I just don't want to be alone.

Here now.

Argh this it literally the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life. I can't tell you how hard it is.

I just can't go back.

If you don't feel you can say the words show them this thread, you've taken the hardest
Step of getting out of the house. Well done

I would try to contact a mental health team or helpline. They will be best placed to recognise how low you are feeling. Can you even call GP for a contact or at least know you are accessing the help you need.

Thank you. I saw the triage nurse and they said I would be seen by a speciality.

You have absolutely done the right thing OP - I hope you get the support and help that you need x

Well done. Doing this to help yourself shows how capable and strong you are. With the right help you will make good changes to how you are feeling now.

Good for you, Username.

I just wanted to write this post for anyone who is feeling low.

I have just come out of A&E feeling lighter. I literally have hope everything is going to be okay, or better. What just happened in there was I was talked to by the kindest man, no judgment.

I didn't have to explain what I thought I had done wrong, he just wanted to talk about how I have been, and gave me referrals to my gp, online and face to face counselling and phone numbers and where to go if I need help in future.

Sorry I am going on about it but I feel something, and its not what I was feeling before.

He said this is common, we see thousands of people like you, and you'll be okay with this support but you can always come back to us if you need it.

I don't really want to think about what I was like in there, I was in a very sad place, but I feel a load has been lifted and I just want to tell people that you can feel better and there are kind people out there who want to help you so go to get help and don't suffer alone.

And thank you to each and everyone of you for your posts, your words of kindness helped my head stay together to get help.

That's great to hear OP, you were very strong, well done.

well done op you are very brave.

Amazing. Well done

Oh BRILLIANT. Well done.

I'm so pleased you went to a&e

Are you on any medication?

Keep talking xxx

Well done for taking care of yourself OP I'm pleased you feel better, try and get some rest xxxx

Well done. Glad to hear you're feeling better.

Well done OP. Dont worry about the files, in fact I would speak to your GP and see about getting signed off for a few days, give yourself a chance to sort out your counselling and let meds settle if you have them. Definitely take them up on the counselling though. I ended up going to a private therapist as the NHS wait in my area was ridiculous. I drive an hour each way to see him but it really is worth it just to have someone to talk to and to help process your thoughts who wont judge you. It keeps me from reaching that crisis point again.

Bless you OP. I’ve been there and it’s the darkest place. Even multiple miscarriages and secondary infertility didn’t take me to the black hole I faced when I was suicidal in my twenties. I’m so glad you got help ♥️

I am happy to hear you will have some support and that the nice man in the hospital was kind. Well done for going

Well done OP.

Well done OP

I'm so glad ur ok

Well done op. I had a similar experience, had t sleep at all for two weeks, very low, in such a dark place. I saw a gp, she spent half an hour with me and the clouds lifted. It can take while for them to lift completely, but they will. Please accept any help you are offered