I am really struggling at the moment, I feel so angry and bitter which is not normal for me. My husband and I are both working, he's working 5 days a week from home (50+hrs a week). I'm working my usual 3 days although end up doing longer days as I start at 6am i the hope of getting the work done so I can have time off to do school work in the afternoon, but inevitably I just end up working longer. Plus on both of my 'days off' I'm ending up doing anywhere between 3-5 hrs work as we've furloughed so many staff (tourism company) that I have no one to help. It's a family business we are struggling to save so there isn't a choice of me being furloughed. And we have a 6 and 8 year old at home that we are also trying to home school and no one is allowed to help.
I'm finding my anger at people is bubbling over and it's scary. I'm so angry with other people in the company who are furloughed and able to be at home with their family. I'm angry at friends who are stay at home mums so can do the home schooling. I'm particularly angry with a number of local companies I know who could be working safely but have furloughed staff and see it as a free holiday and keep posting sanctimonious posts on social media about how they are 'caring for the community by closing' and then posting all the DIY jobs they are getting done.
We're working so bloody hard every day and the poor children are being neglected, I see all the work being posted on the schools website that other parents are doing, and frankly I would love to be making f***g models out of pebbles with my children. It's been getting me down for weeks but now I can't see an end to it and I'm seething with resentment which is so unhealthy and unhappy. The house is a pit as I haven't time to clean it and at the end of each day it all starts again like groundhog day. I dont know what to do....I feel like a teenager moaning that it's not fair (and I know life isn't) and I just feel overwhelmed by the feelings of resentment and anger, I dont know how to let it go.