Mother and baby unit

[Marco88]

Hi there everyone, I'm new to the forum and coups really use some advice I'm under an immense amount of stress with my girlfriends situation, cutting the long story short she suffered pre birth all of a sudden with depression and an immense amount of anxiety which ended up over time her being put in a mother and baby unit, to put it into perspective the mother and baby unit did not help her at all, they never had a permanent doctor reviewing her meds and forward 7 months later she got discharged after feeling a bit more herself, she done well for two months then I came home one day to her having taken an overdose, she's not in the mother and baby unit once again and this time is ending up worse, she's tried 4 different ad's and I'm starting to lose hope and now they are thinking of discharging her from the unit to come home when she is in such a bad day, my gf has done cbt ever since this has happened and as much as it helps sometimes the anxiety is too severe and the depression is bad so she can never really move forward, do u think it's worth trying a different antidepressant and possibly taking her to be seen private.

Hi Marco, what care is she being discharged to when she leaves hospital? Does she have a Community Psychiatric Nurse and community psychiatrist? I went through similar to your girlfriend and it wasn’t until I got my outpatient care in place that things started to improve. We tried several different medications - antipsychotics and antieoileptics for the anxiety, as well as antidepressants - and eventually got something that works. Discharge planning can be really poor so you may need to push hard to get anything as an outpatient.

Hi thanks so much for your response, well as far as I'm aware she will have a team called the crisis team coming to check up on her and see how she is doing, they did come when she was released the first time but they literally sat with her for 10minutes and just left each time it was pointless, as an outpatient what options do we have?

It sounds like she's getting really crap care, I'm so sorry. I'm not sure where you are but could you look into advocacy to help fight your corner and help her get what she needs?

How long has she been discharged for? Is she seeing someone who specialises in mental health for new mums? It is quite different than ordinary mental health, hormones and sleep deprivation can play a huge part.

Hope you're able to get some support for yourself too, you have so much to cope with as well.

She is seen by the ward psychiatrist who is fairly new to the job and is on site twice a week, they have really messed up a lot of her meds and the nurses at the mother and baby unit honestly don't care of any of the mums, I'm never one to complain and always respect anyone who does their jobs but I would be lying if I said they were helping anyone in that place, I spoke to the doctor who said she will be discharged for a week to see how she gets on at home and will be reviewed tomorrow but they plan to discharge her completely with the help of community care which hasn't been a great help at all in the past for her, honestly don't get me wrong I hated going through mental illness myself but I'm glad it prepared me for something like this in my life, my concern is that if my gf comes home I'm worried that I can't take care of her and my daughter while working from home it would be a lot to juggle and as it is I'm taking on the world it seems.

It all sounds so hard Marco, well done for holding it all together. PANDAS are a fantastic organisation, I'd suggest giving them a ring. They'll be able to advise you. They've also got a great dad's group.

www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/

I'm sorry you and your girlfriend are going through this. I am five months postpartum and have experienced anxiety and depression, but am I declined a voluntary admission to a MBU after looking around and not getting a nice vibe, I have community care. I am afraid to say the care I receive is not great. Why was she put into the unit? Do they deem her to be ready to go home, or is it due to the virus, they are trying to get people home?

As*

They've had her in the unit because they believe she is not ready for the outside world yet, it's so sad to witness but my girlfriend has so many anxiety attacks daily and her mood is so low so now I'm caught between her being home and unwell without any guarantee of who will take care of her medically or letting her stay in the mother and baby unit when it makes her much worse, very hard time at the moment, it's really a matter of trial and error but she is trying so hard to get back to herself and sticks to treatments provided like cbt etc but when your in such a bad place it's hard for treatments like that to take a positive effect, in all honesty she's tried 10 weeks of this tablet and given it a good try and the doctor just advised lets see how she goes for another month I mean what kind of advise is that, all our families are willing to pay to get her seen by a private psychiatrist weekly if need be but my gf is slightly stubborn

I’ve had bad depression and high functioning anxiety, the thing I found with me was
I was that down and full of anxiety that when they suggested cbt
I wasn’t well enough to take it in or really participate. I found it hopeless, but wanted to desperately get well, but it was completely the wrong timing

The thing is, it’s so much trial and error with meds, and you need at least I’d say 8-12 weeks on each one you try. Some get lucky after after 4-6 weeks feel better,
it maybe the depth of the depression/anxiety though, everyone is different. What med works for one may not for another, It’s soul destroying.

A private psych will still do the same regarding meds, it’s weeks rather than days unfortunately and then you have to get to the therapeutic dose for that particular med.
To see a private psych it’s around £200-£300
Depending where you live, London I presume more

I’ve been through the mill with mh issues on/off throughout my life from 25-62 now
Nhs and private, private eats your money up
And nhs is hit and miss who you get!
Not to mention for how long for and what available in your area.

My heart goes out to her. What med have they got her on?

Is the baby still with her in the unit ?
You could always say, your not prepared to put yourself under the pressure of looking after g/f baby and work from home full time
To much for your mental health