Really bad anxiety, what can I do to help myself?

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I have had anxiety for around 4 years now. I have never told anyone about it as I don't really have anyone I feel comfortable talking about it with and I have avoided going to the doctor about it.

I have had a really stressful year with finishing my master's and then being an unemployed graduate with no idea what to do with my life, a health scare in my immediate family, financial issues and now the coronavirus pandemic.

My anxiety manifests as health anxiety and catastrophizing when it comes to my health. I worry about every little symptom and always think it is the worst case scenario. For example if I get a cut I panic that I will get an infection or sepsis from it and do a specific and quite obsessive cleaning of the cut, antiseptic cream and then a plaster, even if it is only a tiny cut that most people would just leave. It happens with everything. If my eyesight changes and I need stronger contact lenses I worry it is an eye disease causing the blurry vision and not just normal eyesight changes.

This week alone I have worried that I have had three serious health problems. As soon as one worry is over, the next one begins. If there is nothing new to worry about I will start worrying about a past worry. It is like my mind always needs something to worry about.

Does anyone have any advice? Thank you

Honestly I think you need to speak to your GP. You sound like you’re really suffering and there are all sorts of things you could try in order to get some relief. I think some anxiety at the moment is normal, but you’ve said yourself this is ongoing and beyond that.
If you can’t face the Dr just yet, maybe look at books or google online resources for CBT which might help you get some of your thought processes under control. Lots of luck. It’s much more common than you think and nothing to be ashamed of. Do reach out and get help, you deserve to live as happy a life as you can.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with anxiety, I know how it can eat away at you. Just remember at this time you are not alone as a lot of mental health issues are magnified. I would start by going to your GP and consider a small dosage of medication. I know that can be scary to most people and I was totally against the idea of medication, however I am only on a 20mg dose and have found a huge difference with my anxiety, so at least I can go out of the house now. I do get my down days but I remember that anxiety can not harm me in anyway, you won’t faint etc. It sounds like aswell you need some CBT so this is a type of therapy that works with you to best find coping strategies such as acknowledging what you’re afraid of, thinking about what you think is the worst scenario, and then realising the likely scenario. For example you worry about having a cut, you’re thinking that it is going to get affected, but the likely scenario is that it will heal in a few days and be absolutely fine. You get the idea... for now take it easy and try some meditation etc as that’s very beneficial. Take care x

May i recommend a good book thats an easy read? Brilliant CBT by Dr Stephen Briers.

I have anxiety and I have a controversial suggestion that has really helped me. Mine isn't crippling, but its irrational and can take over, not many people know about it. I try and come up with solutions so I turned to online advice and got some great tips which really helped me. I listened to a podcast on the law of attraction. It basically says what you focus on you attract. So if you are constantly thinking about your anxiety, writing poems about it, telling people, researching it, thinking about it, then your problem is only going to get worse. Instead focus on building a strong mindset which will help you control it.

Also its important to start recognizing the exact moment you start to feel anxious and what caused it. When you start to notice it coming, take a pause and breath deeply in for 5, hold for 5, out for 5 and hold for 5. You can even draw a square in your mind with your breaths. This increased oxygen will help. When you start to think of it you are absorbed in a situation. Instead of being in the thought, imagine seeing the anxiety in front of you, and observe it and what caused it. Make it move further away from you and smaller. Distance yourself from it, and it will feel separate to you as if you are watching something thats not involving you.

Heres the most controversial part, a reality for me which actually helped me: Anxiety is a very self obsorbed emotion. You are focused entirely on yourself and your feelings. Just seeing it from this perspective reduced my anxiety as I try and not be self absorbed and every time I feel it coming along I tell myself I need to stop being so self absorbed, and most of the time it very quickly goes away. Hope this helps.

@suspiciouscowboy love law of attraction! Brilliant advice

What do you do to relax,for pleasure,for calmness?
Mindfulness helps a lot.its important to teach your brain how it feels to be calm and enjoying something in the moment.you can then learn to pull that feeling when things are overwhelming to the forefront to give you a stronger sense of control

@suspiciouscowboy that’s a really interesting point of view. I often find I’m less anxious when my focus is outwards - eg I’m doing something for someone else. That kind of fits with what you’re saying. Definite food for thought! Thank you.

@Asgoodasarest @Halli2020 Thank you for your replies.
I think I may speak to my GP. It seems like a good time to do it as the appointment will be done online or via the phone which I feel is less awkward than a face-to-face appointment. I just have so much shame around having anxiety as I know family members would judge me if they found out I was on anxiety medication or attending therapy. It is ridiculous as I have a background in Psychology and know how common depression and anxiety is and how it is nothing to be ashamed of.

@Arnoldthecat Thank you for the recommendation, I will check it out.

@suspiciouscowboy I have had a similar realisation the last couple of days where I have realised that I have this deep, core belief that the World is a bad place where bad things happen. Then whenever something bad happens (which for me at the moment can be me just cutting my hand) it reinforces that belief and perpetuates the anxiety. I am familiar with the Law of Attraction and I do think I need to improve my mindset but it is hard to know where to even start. Also I agree that anxiety can be very self-absorbed. I hate the person I am when I am feeling anxious as I can be so cold and rude to my family members because I am so overcome with anxiety.

@Stilllivinginazoo I have being doing mindfulness on an ad hoc basis and I do find it really helpful. I think I need to create more structure and discipline with it and practice it everyday as it is calming. Thank you for the suggestion.

Nobody ever need know that you’re looking at treatment, on the tablets or speaking to the Dr. It’s just your business and there is absolutely no shame in admitting you need some help. I think it’s more of a waste to allow yourself to suffer when you don’t need to. My issues aside, I sometimes think that generally I’m mentally healthier than some people, simply because I seek treatment when I need it. Does that make sense? Let us know how you get on if you want some moral support. You can definitely do this, the first step is always the hardest. X