Lockdown causing severe depression

[Ihatecurtaintwitchers]

I have on and off depression in normal times. Am currently existing with an elderly relative who needs a certain amount of help. I started this lockdown with a certain amount of anxiety then gradually moved into a depression which is now severe. Every time I feel I'm coming out of it I see something online, that depresses me further and makes me feel this will never end. It's like nobody gives a fuck about mental health at all. I've been depressed before but never like this. I do all the exercise looking at nature speaking to people stuff that people say to do but I'm spiralling deeper and further into a black pit every day. I dont know where the bottom is. I hate everything I hate every minute. I hate the internet. I'm so fed up of everything and losing hope for any kind of future.

sorry to hear that OP, better times will come, it's s few weeks until we're out of lockdown then a gradual restart of everything. Watch some comedies on the telly and try to help others. Happiness often comes from helping others x

Have you spoken to your GP? They may be able to suggest things to help out in the short term.

Yes me too. Having dug myself out of a deep pit I'm now starting to feel like everything is pointless which is a warning side. My coping mechanisms are exercise and being with friends and family, neither of which are possible at the moment.

for you. Hang in there

My sister had moved out of the family home as a nurse, but like you her depression spiralled. She moved back and she’s doing much better. There’s more than one risk factor at play in this pandemic. Can you talk to your GP asap? What are the things that usually keep you feeling better? I and many many others do care and I am deeply worried about the effect of this on those who struggle. You are not unseen

Honestly I usually travel and socialise to ward off depression. Obviously I can't do those at the moment. However I'm grateful for some of the kind posts. So much seems so bleak now even on here MN all seems to be falling apart. Depression is an awful illness and it's not going anywhere.

Really feel for you .

Exercise has helped me a lot and socialising on zoom and FaceTime . So hard. (

@Ihatecurtaintwitchers can you start to plan an amazing trip for 2021 maybe ?

I am too depressed to speak to anyone and almost to eat let one plan any future trip. Just feel sad and empty all the time. I hate this so much.

It’s really really horrible to feel that way OP. This won’t last forever- feeling like this or the current situation. But it’s just grim to be living it. Is there anyone particular you are missing, or just the general normality of seeing friends and family? Do you live alone with this elderly relative? Do you drive?

It is only the elderly relative and I. I am only allowed to drive 2km away for groceries a those are the rules here. I'm too depressed even to speak to friends on the phone most of the time. Every time I hear someone speculate it could be 18 .months or 2 years honestly I question whether I want to carry on. I'm also worried if and when this miserable apology for an existence (lockdown) ever comes to an end people will all think "well you managed that ok" so believe even more that depression and anxiety are attitudinal not illnesses. I have become seriously livid and depressed at the "buttheydidntcomplainduringthewar/justgetonwithit/stopwhingeing" brigade in here. I know I should probably stop coming on here but as these replies have proved therr are some decent and kind people. I hate thinking always badly of people but I just imagine a load of middle class people with big houses and gardens drinking their red wine and coming on here to berate and judge others. I wish I could take a pill and sleep until it is over and not awake if it never ends.

It’s not going to be that long, certainly not in its current form. People love to speculate til the cows come home but they don’t know. The powers that be are very aware that there’s a cost behind the lockdown and are keenly trying to weigh it all up and balance things out. It’s really really tough mentally and people who dismiss that just have no clue. Doctors, police, government all know this and are not supportive (or shouldn’t be!) of the belittling of the mental cost of this. Please do speak to your GP. This is important and you will not be the only patient they are seeing who is particularly struggling at this time.

Also it’s ok not to want to talk to friends. Everybody isn’t loving life with zoom and FaceTime all the time. Most people are just trying to get to the other side of this. It’s NOT going to be as long as the scaremongerers think. Don’t let your mind entertain that if you can

Hi

I know this is an old thread but I wondered how you are doing as I have felt pretty much the same since lockdown started.

I too feel like it is never going to end. Of course restrictions have started to be eased now, but that doesn't mean the virus has gone away.

The anxiety caused by the threat constantly hanging over is terrible, and then there is the depression caused by the whole New (Ab)normal and social distancing. I totally understand why the precautions have to be taken, but the idea that the future has shrunk to forever fearing a deadly virus while having to treat other human beings as potential lepers sends me spiralling into depression. I also no longer have a job, and neither does my partner, so that is another huge worry.

I find myself constantly searching the net for signs of hope. Obviously there is not much to find right now, and like you more often than not I come across something that makes me feel despair instead.

I just feel there is no end in sight. Yes it could go on 18 months to 2 years which seems unbearable, but it could go on longer, or even for the rest of our lives in some form. I too feel absolute despair at the prospect.

Hi, a long-time lurker here, but I've been feeling very similarly to you as well. Before lockdown, I went 4 years without self-harming and since I've been furloughed, I've had at least 2 meltdowns involving throwing my head against the wall repeatedly, bruising my head.

I'm not in a good place, I feel the same about the internet and watching people spew their racist opinions all over the place, family included.

My partner is drinking more and acting aggressively towards our new puppies - any attempts by me to encourage positive reinforcement and calmness is met with "I have owned dogs all my life, I know what I'm doing". One of our dogs peed with fear earlier today, he also grabbed the dog by the scruff of the neck and pushed him to the floor, yelping in front of a load of people and I feel implicated in the whole thing because I didn't do anything other than feel sick and teary.

Any attempts to talk to him about his drinking is "can we just not do this now!".

I feel trapped in a small flat with nobody to confide in, so I finally joined mumsnet.

This whole thing is horrible, but I'm glad we have a place to share feelings.

@Ihatecurtaintwitchers I hope you are OK x

@BumbleWumble I hope you're OK too - it wouldn't let me tag two people in one post (newbie).

I just feel I have nobody to talk to; family and friends would worry and it would damage their image of my partner (he's not normally like this but the booze and stress is getting to him), my line manager and HR are definitely NOT people I would talk to and my partner is a cause of many of my feelings.