I’ve been wondering for a while now, ever since I found out it was a phobia. Obviously to get a proper diagnosis I should go to the drs but I thought it check I’m not being “dramatic” as it’s not causing me frequent panic attacks so I initially presumed it can’t be a phobia?
Anyway when I was younger I was at a sleep over and ended up getting unwell. It was my first sleepover and I was made to feel as if this was a big problem. The night it happened I had been watching a specific tv show and wearing my pyjamas. Up until about the age of 12 (I was about 6 at the time) I refused to watch that tv show, eat the same food I ate that night or wear the pyjamas because I thought I’d get sick. If I ever was unwell I wouldn’t want anyone to know that I’d been throwing up and just tell people asked it was a ahead ache. I then went through a long period where even if I thought I was going to be sick I’d physically stop myself.
My entire childhood I’d refuse to go and sleep over at friends with the worry I was going to throw up and if it came to the point I had to I’d lie awake worrying I was going to be sick to the point I would actually start to feel unwell. I’d always worry at cinemas etc that someone was going to be unwell near me.
I worry about it less now, as in I’ll happily go and stay round a friends who I know well, tho am reluctant to stay around people’s I’m not as friendly with at the worry if I do throw up then what will they think of me. I went on a stay away trip with college at the end of last yr and ended throwing up. At the time I managed to keep all under control and honestly realised it wasn’t that bad. But when ever I think back to the trip/ certain parts of it I start to shake and get all tense and have to stop thinking about it which is a shame as it was so much fun... I still refuse to wear the same clothes I wore that day! It’s also strange as if other people talk about sick sometimes I’m fine with it and other times I feel as if I’m going to cry and just shake. I feel tho it has less of an effect on my life now than when I was younger. I don’t want to tell anyone about it because a) I hate bringing up sick and b) I feel they will think I’m weird/ think I’m being dramatic.
Do you think I’m just being stupid or does this sound like a genius me fear? Sorry that’s a long one but would rlly appreciate a hand. It’s got to the point where I Constantly have it on my mind.