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What was this? Assault?

2 replies

Halli10 · 14/04/2020 00:22

Ok so for the past 4 years I have been wondering if I was sexually assaulted or not as this felt quite wrong. I was 18 at the time and with my then ex, it was late at night on my 18th and we were at the back of an old field, things got heated and he kept asking me if I would t*ss him off. I said no, not outside, and he kept on and on about it. He was under the influence of alcohol and kept forcing me to drink more too. He said to me if I don’t he will just go home, so eventually I have in as I liked him too much. He also shoved his hands down my pants and yeah don’t need to explain the rest. So long story short I felt like crap afterwards and really anxious, it keeps coming back into my head every now and then. Was this assault?

There was also another time quite recently when I was seeing somebody. He was quite larger than normal, so there was no foreplay etc, he took my to my bedroom and said are we gonna do it then? And spoke to me like it was some type of operation. “Take your top of please” he said which I thought was odd. He just shoved it in me and I flinched and said ouch as it hurt me, he carried on so I pushed him away, he said what do you want to do then? I said it hurts, then he carried on. Oh and he left more or less straight after and didn’t talk to me afterwards, which makes me think he felt guilty? I don’t know.

I’m just confused I don’t know if I’m thinking too much into this or these were accounts of assault. Either way I feel extremely degraded by it and find it difficult to be with partners even now because of those two scenarios.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 14/04/2020 01:26

Yes to both
The first you were coerced with alcohol (Essentially drugging you beyond capacity to consent), which is a type of sexual assault.

The second was rape. He continued after you withdrew consent.

Not your fault in either case. Your feelings are normal response. You sound like you are suffering post traumatic stress since these incidents still haunt you and affect your current relationships. Please try and find some trauma counselling for you. You can beat these ghost memories.

call women’s aid to get advice on whether you want to report these men.

Sorry to say it so bluntly. It’s late and my English goes. Didn’t want this to sit unanswered because I can’t find words to say I feel your hurt and hope you have someone to hug and comfort you.

Bollards21 · 17/04/2020 20:23

Get this guy dealt with....bang out of order...he broke the law. Get some professional advice.

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