Living alone during isolation

[Helpmeplease30]

I’m really struggling with living alone at the moment. My mental health hasn’t been great for the past few months anyway for various reasons but it’s really plummeted since I’ve been spending all this time on my own. All my usual strategies for coping revolve around seeing friends and keeping busy socially. I can’t even see my therapist in person and am struggling with our online sessions. I’m trying to keep some kind of routine and have video chats with people but it’s not the same. I’ve spent most of the past 2 days in tears as I’m so worried about how long this could go on for and how hard it’s going to be for me to cope. My thoughts are getting very dark.

Hi, I live alone too (no kids/partner/family )...and I am struggling as well. I have definitely felt that the last few days have been the most difficult. ...and today the most difficult so far! I have noticed a few threads on here today from people who also live alone and are really starting to struggle. It is some comfort to me that at least it seems 'normal' to be starting to find things difficult now.

I have cried a lot over the last couple of days. And have experienced episodes where I have felt so lonely , hopeless and isolated that it does physically hurt. I'm quite solitary in normal life and am used to being alone....but the feelings being evoked by the lockdown are something else and have taken me by surprise. I also wonder how long I will be able to cope with this.

It is so so difficult. I just want you to know that you are not alone, because I have got some reassurance from reading your post and knowing that I am also not alone.

We have to find a way through this somehow. I don't know how, but that's what we have to do.

Maybe we can keep this thread going for others who are also alone.

But yes it hurts.

P.s I also have longer term mental health problems, which I was beginning to make progress with. So the lockdown is like a double whammy, an is seriously threatening to undo any previous progress ☹️

Thanks for your reply. I am a little reassured to know I’m not alone. I feel like this has come at one of the worst times in my life and the lack of control over it is something I’m really struggling with. I wish I knew when it was all going to end.

I also live alone, and am missing all my usual social outlets. My adult daughters live 50 miles away so I cant see them either, and I’m just 5 days out of hospital, having been ill with Covid for the previous 17 days.
This pandemic is bloody awful, and for a control freak like me, the sheer uncertainty of how long the lockdown will last, and worrying about loved ones, is grim.
I don’t have easy answers, OP, but I can just share your feelings and tell you how Ive been coping with mine.
I try to get out each day for a walk. My energy level is still low post virus, but I potter round the village and enjoy seeing the flowers in people’s gardens.
If anyone else is out, I stand 2 metres away and have a chat - it’s so much more normal than facetime or whatever, and human contact (even at a distance!) is very comforting.
I sit in the sun in my own garden, and do a bit of weeding. I can only do a few mins (v tired), but contact with the earth and growing things is very therapeutic. I understand not everyone is lucky enough to have a garden, but if you do, make the most of it. If not, try to walk somewhere with trees and grass - it will lift your spirits.
Have as much online contact and hobbies as you can. My bridge club has arranged to play online, so we can still interact even if not in person at a table.
Finally, I don’t know if you have a religious faith. I’m a Christian, and find solace in prayer and in my excellent minister’s online services, recorded in our village church. (In Scotland, ministers are still allowed into the church, unlike England)
She also provides telephone pastoral support and has been a great help to me. Your own local minister might be a source of comfort for you, if that is something you’d like to pursue.
I shall put you in my prayers, OP, along with everyone who is struggling during this time, for whatever reason. The lockdown will not go on forever, even though it might feel like it just now. Think of all the lovely things you can do, and people you can see, when that happy day comes.

God bless.

I think people have to manage this as best as they can, be they mothers penned up with children, old people, or those of us who are alone.

I was aware at the start of this it was going to be a marathon not a sprint, so occasionally I will bend the rules. In the course of my dog walk yesterday, I went to a friends gate and texted them. I stood behind the gate, they came to their front door, and we had a chat for 10 minutes. My dog really didn’t understand why she couldn’t go and say hello to her sometimes foster mum.

It did both of us good. Sometime when it warms up again, I will go down to another friend. She will put a chair in her garden with a mug of coffee by it. She will remain in her house with the French Doors Open. We will have a chat.

In both cases we will not be within 2 metres of each other. It might not be within the spirit of the rules, but it is necessary for my sanity.

I'm struggling too. Live alone.

The one thing that I cling onto is staying in the day. Re: initially I projected forward, which was understandable given the circumstances? Kind of assessing the risk and the new territory, feeling around it. But that was crushing, so I dragged myself back to staying in the day..

THEN I got mentally embroiled in the past! Also understandable when you spend a lot of time alone! I'm finding it harder to drag myself away from that one ie the past but I'm determined.

I also have an hour walk a day and try to call someone to talk to. I knocked on a friends' door as I passed on one of my walks and we had a chat,. But they're a couple and very happily married. They offered me some flowers in their front garden, letting me pick what I wanted. That was nice. It helped to talk f2f.

I'm watching a lot of telly - nothing challenging, thanks! - and started reading through my collection of loved books. Anything to get me checked out for a few hours to give me a mental break!

I suppose the battleground is in our minds, to watch what we're thinking, keep a close eye on negative /unhelpful thinking?

Long term MH issues here. Love to all of us struggling with MH and living alone 💐🌹

I've also noticed I'm physically tensed up, as though I'm facing a blizzard! I'm not facing a blizzard so I don't need to do that.

In fact the sun is shining and the weather is just wonderful, with spring unfolding so beautifully. Such a blessing!

I also have a faith and morning readings and meditations are a great comfort, getting the world back on its axis: all is well.

BTW I of course stayed back when I knocked on friends door - about 12ft!

@springydaff

Thank you for what you have wrote here. I think you are totally right! As in, thinking about the past or future is way to difficult...I've literally learned that in the last few days!! I've been trying really hard to live in the moment these last few days and it is helping.

Cooking, riding my bike, and watching comedy on the tv. It's the only way I am going to get through this. When the world goes back to normal again, I can go back to my usual worried and anxious self.

naughty 💐