I'm not ok!

[Ivebeentohellanditscalledikea]

I know I shouldn't be thinking of myself at a time like this and that there are people much worse off than me but I'm really not coping well at the moment. I live with my three children one who has asd. I have been at home for three weeks now as I displays symptoms before the lockdown and had to be off work. I'm now not needed at work until the end of the month and I'm really struggling with the arguments and loneliness. I am not one to let things get to them and usually just get on with it but at the moment I keep falling apart and crying. When things get stressful I have daydreams about running away or jumping in front of a bus just for some peace.

I don't think the fact my ex who abused me (mentaly and sexualy) and the children (physically) is trying to use this as a way to the and gain contact.

I just feel so alone and like I'm failing at everything and I don't know what to do. Is anyone else feeling this way?

You have been through an awful lot with an abusive ex partner and we have all been thrust into this crazy, scary situation so you have an awful lot on your plate.

You might want to talk to the Samaritans about your situation.

Have you been to the GP, you might need to talk about medication and counselling ( it will probably be via Skype during CV).

Your children love and need you and it is troubling to hear that you have suicidal feelings. So I am sending you a big virtual 🤗 hug!

Please call Samaritans if you feel like that again.

I think the best way to get through the situation is to just think about getting through one day at a time.

You sound like an amazingly strong person to deal with all of this.

You are not failing, you are doing brilliantly in really difficult circumstances. Let your emotions flow and have a cry.

Then distract yourself. Make yourself a hot drink, listen to upbeat music, watch something funny. Paint a picture, bake a cake, whatever floats your boat!

You are very important, you have had a rough ride with an abusive ex.
You are keeping your children safe and sound away from an abuser.

You are an absolute 🌟 star!

Stay safe and well💐

Thank you for your reply. I don't want to waste the drs time with everything going on at the moment. I think I just need to keep myself busy as u think that's what's changed. I used to be working then running the kids about and now I have time to think. My son isn't coping with the change at all which had lead to him having violent outbursts so it's just so much to handle while worrying about the affect on the other two as well.

Is there anybody you can message about your sons behaviour with ASD? A teacher or somebody who may have techniques to calm him down.

The lack of his usual routine is probably throwing him and making him angry.

Does he have anything to help him self soothe? Does he have a programme or toy that helps?

Do you have a garden to get them out into?

There are threads on here dealing with Autism, they will be able to give you better advice than me.

How old are your children?

You need to take care of yourself through all of this. Keep going from one day to the next.

Stay strong, and if you start to spiral down, phone the Samaritans or post on here.
I will talk to you! 💐🤗