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Feeling shit

11 replies

Shoegal0305 · 31/03/2020 11:45

So I've posted a few times in other threads. Recently had a health scare with a mammogram recall. Terrified me. I suffer with anxiety at times of crisis, generally I'm very level headed, but when things get tough, which I know happens to everyone, everyone else seems to cope a lot better than me.

Anyway I am a frontline NHS worker, got signed off with anxiety before the corona virus outbreak. Breast issues have righted themselves I've been given a clean bill of health after two biopsies. However my mum has had a massive mental breakdown. She has suffered all her life, again I have posted about my struggles as a separate issue. She lives an hour away from me and obviously I can't see her at the min. She is having daily panic attacks which is awful to listen to when I can't help. As you can imagine my anxiety is thru the roof. My sick note runs out next week and I honestly feel I'm not strong enough to return to work yet. Cue guilt at not being there for my colleagues. But as I'm frontline I need my wits about me.

So my mum had yet another panic episode this morning. I lost my temper with her, felt massively guilty so rang my sister. She lives near my mum and sadly gets the brunt of it all due to that. Anyway she is a manager in a call centre, 'key worker' apparently as it's communications. So she has been at work throughout the virus crisis. She is stressed I get that. However I tried to tell her I'm not ready to go back to my job yet and I was stunned by her response. So much it's driven me to tears. She basically said the best thing I can do for my health is get back to work as it's normality. I get that. However we are frontline and in the thick of it without proper PPE. My colleagues are texting me daily they are in crisis and putting themselves at risk. Am I a coward in not wanting to return? I have an asthmatic son and I'm a single parent I'm terrified I'll bring something home to him. Plus all this happening with my mum my head is full of fog. My sister basically said that I should man up go back to work and if she was my manager she would be recommending I don't get paid!!!!!! Obviously the NHS do pay us sick pay thankfully. I've been off 3 weeks I don't feel I'm taking the piss I've done my job 24 years! I just feel all my life my mum has let me down, I've never had any support and now my sister has turned against me. I also feel my close friend feels the same way. When I told her I'd her I'd been signed off for another week she had the same reaction! Basically eyes rolled and 'oh right?' As if I shouldn't be off. I feel like the weight of the world on my shoulder at the minute.

Sorry for rambling........

OP posts:
CourtneyB123 · 31/03/2020 11:57

Hey just wanted to let you know you're not alone. My anxiety is through the roof also I'm having panic attacks most days its awful feel like I cant parent properly or take care of myself/family. I'm due to start at my local hospital next week and I'm absolutely dreading it and would take any other job than care right now as selfish as it seems. If you dont feel ready to go back to work then dont, take as much time off as you need. If you go back and arent ready itll only intensify those feelings and perhaps you might later on down the line relapse and take longer time off. People will have their opinions on what you 'should' be doing but its what you're comfortable with. So please if you need extra time off take it x

Shoegal0305 · 31/03/2020 12:41

@CourtneyB123 thank you. Just spoke with my boss who's also a friend. She thinks I would be better off at work too. I desperately want to be back ...... like everyone I guess I'm missing contact. She assured me that I can minimise the risks of taking germs home, we have showers at work etc, not coming to and from work in uniform.........

She also said she would support me if I do come back and need to go off again.

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CourtneyB123 · 31/03/2020 16:13

Well maybe that's just the reassurance you needed. As long as it's a choice you're making and you dont feel pressure from anyone else then go for it. Best of luck there is an end in sight x

Shoegal0305 · 31/03/2020 17:17

@CourtneyB123 thank you. I hope you are coping too?

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CourtneyB123 · 31/03/2020 17:31

Well coping isnt the word, awful time for everyone isnt it. Health anxiety is crippling to say the least! Thank you for your concern x

Shoegal0305 · 31/03/2020 17:47

@CourtneyB123 tho I feel very alone right now, we ARE all in this together Smile

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Shoegal0305 · 01/04/2020 11:42

Really battling with myself today. Normally I'd be the first person throwing myself at challenging situations, but I really don't feel strong enough to cope with work at the minute. But I feel like a coward when my colleagues are risking their lives 😞😞😞😞

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CourtneyB123 · 01/04/2020 12:29

You're not a coward, you're no good to anyone if you're not feeling good in yourself. Take the time you need, it'll be beneficial for everyone later on down the line if you're taking care of yourself. Your whole career/life is taking care of others it's okay to look after you and your family. Your colleagues would want you to get better to help them remember that. Have you got access to any mental health numbers in your area? Someone you could talk to? Xx

Shoegal0305 · 01/04/2020 12:39

@CourtneyB123 I'm sorry to put on you as you've explained you are struggling too. I just feel I need time. Time to get over the anxiety I've had recently, health scare, mum and this virus.

How are you?

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CourtneyB123 · 01/04/2020 12:59

No dont say sorry it's good for me to indulge into something else, if I can be of any reassurance then it's no problem! It's good you recognise you need the time, it's so important now more than ever to take care of yourself, you're doing the right thing 100%. I'm okay, I've been really unwell the last few weeks I'm a lot better now but I think that triggered my anxiety for sure. I get bouts of nervousness throughout the day but knowing I'm not on my own gives me comfort for sure! How are you feeling now? Xx

Shoegal0305 · 01/04/2020 14:08

I feel better as the day goes on. Going out for my walk every day. Here's to us feeling better

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