prospect of antiDs - is this a normal response? long and confused

[antid]

basically I have been feeling very down for about a year, sometimes worse than others but always fairly miserable
(actually I think I have always suffered from a kind of chronic low grade depression but I didn't realise there was such a thing recognised until I googled in despair recently)
anyway, had started to think the kids would be better off without me which I took as an all round Bad Sign so went to GP where I bawled my eyes out and said "I can't cope" in a variety of different ways
we did the depressed test on his computer and I registered a medium to severe
we agreed I'd probably benefit from some antidepressents but because I've been on St John's Wort for about two years he wanted me off that for a week before prescribing
so I am due to go back tomorrow for the prescription
now the really weird thing is that since I went to see him I have been feeling so much better, almost as though talking to a stranger, having a weep and a bawl and (crucially I think) having the tangible prospect of some medication that might make me feel much better has helped in some way
my questions are - is this a normal response to being told you can have antiDs in a week? will it wear off? should I go back to GP and 'fess up that I am a fraud or is this a momentary blip and I should get the antiDs anyway? (I have been feeling really bleak for a long time until this last week)

IME - even reading about my condition could make me feel a bit better, like I was getting a handle on it. Only temporarily though. As you are in doubt, talk this through with your GP tomorrow.

In my experience just before medication is changed I tend to have a natural high because I know I am getting a better treatment - maybe what your getting just now is a bit of a high because you know that you are just about to have treatment? Sorry if that comes out all wrong! I feel highs and lows, have even come off ADs because of the highs but you should be feeling normal for months before coming off them, not a week or so x

thanks
I think what quootie says is a bit how I feel, a natural high but definitely a bit anticipatory in nature. Very interesting that you say you get this when about to change treatments. Nothing else has changed in my life or circumstances so I think it is just the prospect of some relief...
(that said, on reflection, I have been actively trying to think more positively and spend more time on a daily basis focussing on the good in my life rather than the problems)

I guess go to GP and see what they think

good luck any way

HI

I am in a similar position - I went to GPs yesterday with the same thing & have been prescribed antidepressants. After a long chat with my hubby, I hv decided to start them at the weekend so that hes around in case I feel sick/headachy etc as the GP said I might.
I feel much more positive today and am thinking that "oh well I might be alright now" kinda thing too.

The thing is I know really that its only a temporary feeling as right now my son (1) is having a nap, my daughter (nearly 3) is at preschool and my eldest daughter(5) is at school- so ive got a minute to think my own thoughts !.But really i know that the minute they're all back together I will fall apart again!

Im really scared about taking these pills but I know that I cant carry on the way we are.

cobird - you sound exactly like me
it's been a horrible year, punctuated by tny moments of clarity such as that you describe
I guess I will go and talk to GP - I bet if he didn't give me prescription I'd sink to doldrums again
although I have resisted the thought of antiDs for so long last week I honestly thought there was just no other option...
good luck to you, hope they help

well, good luck all. hope they work out, antid. By the way, having been on SJW, did you not notice any improvement? Were you offered CBT or anything as an alternative? I've recentlyu been presribed trazodone and am rather loathe to take it but think I'm "in need" IFYKWIM and things have got to such a point that I should try something. I've been on SJW for only 12 days, to no effect as yet, so I may continue this for another couple of weeks before going for conventional ADs. Interstingly I was told that I only needed to leave a day in between stopping SJW and starting ADs as opposed to yr week. Maybe because you'vr been on it for such a long time?

hi misschief - I thought the sjw did work at the start, but whether things have just gotten worse on my side, or the effect wears off with time I don't know...just that for last year I was miserable even with them
GP prescribed very low dose of citalopram to start with and wants to see me again next week
he said that the "high" I'd been feeling could well have come just from offloading to a stranger and feeling secure that a plan was in place and that I should go ahead with antiDs anyway - I'm only on 10mg a day so we'll see
I did ask about CBT last week and he thought that would be useful - no offers of it on the NHS though, their counsellor is booked out for months ahead - I may look into doing it privately as I think it does sound potentially very useful

hi there antid, well I hope it works for you. If you're interested in CBT, I've just found a link to an online course (accessible via log-in as needs to be GP-prescribed)i doubt it's as good as face-to-face but better than nothing, I guess.

via www.wellnessshop.co.uk , an NHS-backed site (I believe) or at least it has an online CBT-course "Beating the Blues" via it which is NHS-endorsed. There's a "relief" section of downloadable advice for depression, insomnia etc - not sure whether it's worth it and how it differs from the free CBT one.

hi again
misschief I went to that site but it seemed o be all adverts - is there a direct link? I have to go back to gp next weds so could ask him about it then. I also saw a recommendation on another thread for a kind of diy cbt book called feeling good handbook which I think I will order, although am not usually a fan of "self help" books

I am on day 2 of my antiDs and am feeling very spaced out tbh, a bit like being jet lagged, but this may be due to DD1 coming into our bed last night and waking me up - I couldn't get back to sleep for hours
I hope the spacey feeling goes away, one of the things I thought was coming from my depression was never being able to concentrate but I am supposed to be working right now and it is just a joke!

try this Moodgym, you will have to google it, but its very easy to access and my doctor recommended it to me, its free. Similar sort of thing to the NHS site i think.