DD might have autism??

[sharonruth1982]

I think my DD (14) might be autistic, but I'm not entirely sure.

-She's not good at making eye contact with anyone, even some of her friends.
-She's got a really unusual interest in reptiles and amphibians, cartoons and North American geography (she can name all 50 of the US states and is now learning about Canada in her personal time)
-She comes off as quirky, but doesn't seem to acknowledge or realise it
-She doesn't like physical contact (I haven't hugged her in quite a while; she only lets her best friend hug her)
-She has panic attacks
-She struggles in spaces that are too loud, are too crowded or when noise in general is too loud (she sticks her fingers in her ears)
-Sometimes she doesn't understand people's feelings, but sometimes can. She can be empathetic, but it's usually when someone's explained their feelings.
-She doesn't like expressing when she's happy, such as when I ask 'are you pleased with...' saying 'I don't get pleased with anything'. She does laugh, smile and joke around though
-She's very reserved a lot, and rarely goes out other than to go to school (she either stays in her room or sits in the living room to watch TV/do homework)
-She's got low self-esteem (and is a recovering self-harmer)
-She struggles to talk to people who are on my DH's side of the family, and her older relatives (this has been going on since she was little)

The only thing that makes me think she may not is that she's quite clever (she's set to get 8s in chemistry, biology and english, 7s in most of her other subjects), and doesn't seem to struggle empathising. Also, I don't think it's common for teenagers to be diagnosed with autism. My DS was tested when he was in primary school, but he didn't have it.

If you have any thoughts or advice, please reply.

"The only thing that makes me think she may not is that she's quite clever"

Obviously taking the piss, yes? I don't believe that you genuinely think that everyone who's autistic has a low IQ.

The autistic people that i work with have multiple PhDs. Hope that helps , Op.

What does being clever have to do with it?

My DS only got diagnosed with autism when he got to high school; I got diagnosed a year and a half ago - so don't assume it has to be picked up as a toddler.

DS is freakishly clever with a ridiculously good memory (can cheerfully recite pi to 150 places) - and he has a couple of friends who are also on the spectrum who are also top of their year.

Talk to your GP and ask to get her tested (it's a complex process and can take a long time).

OP - you obviously have a basic misunderstanding of autism if you think that being clever rules it out. Also, lots of teenagers are diagnosed. ASD is often missed in girls especially.

Also, this thread shouldn't be in mental health. ASD is not a mental health problem.

Nevertheless, the description you give of your daughter does (I think) merit looking into it further. The fact that she can empathise might be a sign that she isn't though. My DD doesn't understand what empathy is, let alone have any. If I were you, I'd get it checked out as your DD might well feel more comfortable (if she does have it) if she has a diagnosis.

just to clarify, i don't mean that all autistic people have a low iq. it's just my research of the subject led me to the conclusion that lots of autistic children had difficulty learning. i'm sorry for being ignorant; i really didn't mean to cause offence.

Being clever has nothing to do with it. My dd was diagnosed at age 11. She gets a 9 in every test she does at school.

Autism is a spectrum condition. Go and see her GP with a list of traits you’ve noticed and ask for a referral. Read up on autism in girls.

Autism can present differently in people. I'm not especially clever. Under achiever at school but very empathic. Assumptions around autism is why girls get missed

People in the spectrum can often be either average intelligence or well above. They can also be very empathetic. My ds 4 has just been diagnosed and he is incredibly empathetic. Visit your Gp once this corona has died down or ask for a telephone consultation ref joining a waiting list for an assessment.
I’ve just had a private one done for my ds and it was well worth it.

Ds is 15 and was diagnosed last year. He's at a state grammar school. Quite late for a diagnosis but we had seen many traits all through his childhood.

I won't lie the diagnosis process has not been easy with a teenager and his late diagnosis has left him with significant mental health difficulties.

Definitely do some reading into autism in girls as it presents differently. Sometimes very differently. Empathy doesn't preclude it either, I have an ASD and I would say that I have 'unusual empathy' but I have a lot of it. And forget about the intelligence thing, though I don't blame you for thinking it as there is a lot of misinformation out there.

However, just be really really careful about how you broach this with her as it could be self esteem shattering. Ultimately, if it isn't causing her any problems, being autistic is just kind of a different way of being - a fundamental part of ones identity. I would hate to not be autistic as it is who I am. If it is causing her problems then it might help to meet other autistic people and there are therapies and so forth out there, but any decision to get tested should be made by her. From personal experience it has the potential to be very intrusive and sometimes really not even necessary.

My DD was diagnosed as autistic when she was 17, she shares a lot of the traits that you've listed about your daughter. The diagnosis was led by DD, she did some research online and recognised a lot traits in herself.

She made us all do this online test psychology-tools.com/test/empathy-quotient Not exhaustively accurate, but still enlightening.

I agree with PP about getting a diagnosis, is it necessary for your DD? If she's happy and doesn't need extra support in school, is there a need to pursue a diagnosis?

Oh and my DD is incredibly bright and fantastically academic.