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Mental health

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Flip

Original poster

is it normal to feel so crap when pg

20 replies

j20baby · 08/09/2007 22:54

am 36 weeks, can't stop crying today, been feeling really low the past couple of weeks. dd's behaviour is getting me down, knowing i'n going to be on my own with a nb terrify's me as does the labour.

was reluctant to post all this but i need some suppport- and possibly virtual hugs

OP posts:

sparklygothkat · 08/09/2007 22:56

aww J20, I know just how you feel, I am 31 weeks and Dd1's behaviour is getting to me. I nearly lost it earlier with her.

Pinkchampagne · 08/09/2007 22:57

I felt terribly down throughout my second pregnancy, so can really sympathise.

No great words of wisdom, other than I am pretty sure all will work out ok.

Have a hug from me.

Wilkie · 08/09/2007 22:57

Yes - was an emotional wreck at your stage.

Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 22:58

i did lose it

she's got a weight problem and just doesn't get it that she shouldn't be eating so much shite, nobody listens to me when i say don't give her crap to eat and then look doen at me because she's fat, aslso, she's not a very nice little girl atm and i know its all my fault but i don't know how to bring myself back up to deal with her.

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Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 22:59

thanks for the hugs.

any idea's on how to feel better?

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sparklygothkat · 08/09/2007 23:00

Dd1 has ADHD and when she is screaming and yelling first time in the morning, it really gets to me, especially atm with me feeling so tired.

funnypeculiar · 08/09/2007 23:02

Fwiw, I found it much, mcuh harder being pg with a toddler (how old is your dd) than I did having a toddler & a baby ... so fingers crossed things will be a bit easier soon!

Wilkie · 08/09/2007 23:03

No - fraid not - just ride it out, try and take nice relaxing baths, give yourself time out to think about the lovely new bubba, eat plenty of chocolate...

Sorry - that is shite advice but best I can do. It's horrible so I do sympathise. I cried every day from about 36 weeks onwards...

Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 23:04

Aw SGK, i'm not suprised its getting to you, i don't think i could cope with that in a morning or any time of the day actually.

have a hug too

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Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 23:06

dd is 7, but i'm having emotional problems with her at the moment.

i'm worried that i've made a big mistake having this lo, and i know that i am really shit for saying that, but what if i fuck this one's head up like i already have dd

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sparklygothkat · 08/09/2007 23:12

I feel like that,what if Dd1 picks up on my moods, and thinks its because of her? I love her to bits, but at times I really want to walk away and just forget about it all.

I know its not her fault but I do yell a bit too much at the kids. You are not alone..

babymutha · 08/09/2007 23:17

j20 - I'm pg with my 1st, am due in 2 months, have a really supportive partner and find myself crying about what a rubbish mother I'll make. Amazing people like you - who are doing it on your own with 7 year olds are inspirational. You haven't messed up her head, you're going through some pretty intense hormones and gearing yourself up for ???? a huge physical, emotional amazing scary baby thing.
Have you tried enlisting dds help? Telling her that she's going to be a big sister to a tiny baby and that you really need her help? - it might help her to see things differently...??

Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 23:18

i had someone come and speak to me about her the other day as she was having panic attacks and also saying 'her hhead wanted me to die' and the woman said she's very insecure due to my past relationships, moving house and new baby, i know all this, just don't know how to deal with it.

i think i've got so many issues i need to deal with atm, but i just don't know where to start, wish i could sleep, but i keep waking up for hours in thee night, so i'm exhausted.

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Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 23:22

thankyou babymutha-yes she knows i'll need her help, but then i worry i'm putting too much responsibility on her.

i've been keeping busy the last few months moving house and decorating, now i've done most of it, and just can't manage to do anymore-i think i'm finally having time to let myself think about things, and also possibly grieving for the relationship break up-or rather the sperm donor dumping me.

i don't really want to think about these things, but then i'll go and dream about it.

its not turned out the way it was meant to, i've totally fu**ed up and dd is having to deal with that too.

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Original poster

j20baby · 08/09/2007 23:29

just to say, i am going to bed now, thanks for all your replies, hopefully i will sleep tonight and not be such a wimp in the morning, its done me some good to get it all off my chest i think.

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sparklygothkat · 08/09/2007 23:32

((((hugs))) sleep well. Tomorrow might be better for both of us

babymutha · 08/09/2007 23:32

It must have been SO hard for you when she said that her head wanted you to die - interesting way of putting it - I think she is just trying to work stuff out her own 7 year old way... and that was her way of letting you know she was confused and insecure - BOY did she let you know! End of the day she loves you - she's just testing the boundaries and pushing your buttons to see what happens. Hardest thing in the world but try not to let her push. Tell her you love her and give her hugs (if she'll let you). Tell her how much you need her to help you and how having a little baby around is going to amazing but hard. Give her a role and tell her what you expect and hope she'll do.

babymutha · 08/09/2007 23:41

I don't think you're putting too much on her - there's 7 years between me and my little sis - I felt really grown up when my mum told me I needed to help look after the baby and help her - it gave me more of a sense of being wanted and needed.
I meant what I said J20 - single mothers are the most amazing people - you haven't fucked up - you are doing the most important job in the world with no bloody help. you should get a bloody medal and be sent on an all-expenses paid trip somewhere lovely. hope you sleep well.

calebsmum · 09/09/2007 18:30

J20, I suffered from panic attacks and depression and my GP referred to a counselling service which was brilliant and very supportive. Has your dd made any friends yet? She sounds very insecure and is taking it out on you. Is she going to be starting a new school as well?

Original poster

j20baby · 09/09/2007 19:40

thanks for the messages

babymutha-thank you for your support and kind words.

SGK-i hope you've had a better day.

calebsmum-yes she's just started a new school, she has made friends in our new area, but she's very strong willed and keeps falling out with them all!

i have had quite a good day today, dd has been quite good, i think its tiredness thats getting to me more than anything, i am going to contact the lady that came to see me last week about dd tommorrow and also contact the dietician at my GP practice.
i need to try and get this sorted or it is going to keep worrying me and making me feel worse.

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