Mental health

[Bubblesthefish91]

Hey,

I was in two minds whether or not to post this but I think it might help me to get it off my chest.

I've always suffered from anxiety from a young age. I was always the shy quiet child and then going into high school I started experiencing panic attacks for the first time. I had absolutely no idea what they where at the time. I just genuinely thought I was going to die. Since then I've always had to deal with it but I feel as I've got older I've learnt to manage it & since mental health isnt such a taboo subject anymore and more people are talking about it I think that helps to know you're not alone.

Anyway....since the start of this year I've been really struggling with my mental health. I've just gone into my third year of nursing so maybe it's the stress of that I'm not really sure. I've been in a four year relationship with my boyfriend and we are currently renting a place until I graduate and then hopefully we can start looking at buying. I have a handful of really supportive friends and my family are amazing. From the outside youd think my life seemed fine.
Me and my boyfriend really struggle financially due to me being a student and I feel so guilty because I feel like hes almost carrying us along and I feel like there must be so much pressure on him. I want us to be able so save money so we are able to put a deposit down on a house but its almost impossible whilst we are renting! Hes 30 this year and I'm 30 next year. I see all my friends settling down and moving into their first home or even starting familys and I just feel like we are stuck and cant move forward until I qualify and get a job but even by that time we will have to start saving. I just worry that we are going to be really old parents, or we will never be able to afford to get married or buy our first home. It really bothers me !

On top of this I feel like with my lack of money we arent able to do much. I dont feel like I've been my friends in so long....I feel like I spend most of my weekends in and its really getting me down.

I just dont feel content with anything at the moment. I dont feel excited by life and I dont know how to feel normal again.

Have no experience so don't feel qualified to answer but saw there were no replies so just wanted to let you know I read your post and listened. And my only advice is it's really hard getting on the property ladder so don't be so hard on yourself and secondly your boyfriend isn't carrying you because you are a team and who knows if everything goes well you'll get your job and life will go perfect but he may end up needing your support in return if your not so lucky one day he loves you and your in a relationship and that's what you do when you love someone.

You're under a lot of stress OP. You're doing an intense course and struggling financially. On top of that, you're comparing yourself to other people and feeling pressure from that. Not being able to go out because you're short of cash is very frustrating.

You're describing some symptoms of depression. Here's a mood assessment so you can get a better idea of your feelings.

It might be an idea to make an appointment with your GP (if you can!) and see if you can get counselling through the RCN Counselling service 0345 772 6100. You can call between 8.30am and 8.30pm, seven days a week, 365 days a year. The counselling is over the phone but it may help to have someone to talk to.

Is there anything you can do that doesn't involve much money OP?