I've been reading threads on here for the last couple of months since my DS (26) was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It has been very helpful, I now have a much better understanding of mental health. My DS is now on medication and beginning to feel more positive and is working towards getting back to normal. The reason for my post is about me and how I am feeling. Since the beginning my DS has spoken openly to me about how he's feeling for which I am very grateful. I realise I am extremely lucky he is willing to talk to me and allow me to support him. At the beginning I was absolutely heart broken that he was struggling, it took me a couple of weeks to be able to speak to anyone about it without breaking down in tears. The hardest thing for me is the fact that he lives alone and when he came to stay over Christmas he wanted to be back in his own home by himself. I was so upset that being here at home with us (myself, husband and sibling) was not making him happy. He has not wanted to come back since. I see a lot of him as I go to visit him and we walk and often have lunch. Sometimes we walk in silence, other times we chat and he tells me about how he's feeling and his plans etc. He says the reason he doesn't want to come home is because he needs to be in his own space which I do understand but it still hurts. I often feel guilty for thinking about my own needs more than his by wanting him to spend time with me and understand how I feel. I just sometimes feel drained as if I am giving so much and he doesn't make much effort. I know this is part of the depression but it just makes me feel so sad.