Feeling emotional and overwhelmed

[lyssie29]

Single mother and feeling low. I'm sick of having to do everything myself and pay for everything myself. I don't have anyone to look after the kids and have to live on benefits until youngest is in school in September. Thier dad passed away. No one in the family has been willing to look after them. I don't drive so we walk everywhere mostly. I guess I'm just tired. DDs birthday coming up and I saved for ages so she could have a little party but I'm still struggling to pay for it. She's never had a party and is coming up to 7 so is super excited. I don't feel like the best person at the minute. I'm kind of feeling like the black sheep of the family. The quiet one who doesn't really matter. According to my sister I'm always wrong about everything, always the one who argues. I'm just tired of it all. I feel anxious all the time and feel pathetic for it. Sorry for the ridiculous self pitying I've been up since 4am and pretty tired and just wanted to get a bit of my chest.

Hey, that sounds really tough. And I'm sorry for what your going through. Was her dad your DH? Have you had any counseling since his death? Do you have any RL support?

I have never been to the gp about how I'm feeling and I think I'd feel really awkward talking to someone I don't know. He was my fiance and we had 2 children. I feel like I'm looked down on by one of my sisters because I'm on benefits. She seems to think ive got loads of money going spare and it's an easy life. He died almost 4 years ago now and while that seems like a lifetime it's still such a struggle doing it all myself. No one would look after them and no one showed any interest in how I was or offered to help.

I'm so sorry, 4 years really is nothing when dealing with grief. That must be so tough for you all. What about any other family members? Friends?

You sound like your doing an amazing job. Holding it all together with 2 kids. I don't think I could do it.

I'm guessing that your sister isn't very supportive, and I know you said you would feel awkward but maybe there is a touch of depression or something similar which the GP might be able to help with? You don't have to tell them everything that's been going on if you don't feel comfortable.

I have 2 sisters and a brother and they don't help with the kids. They have kids of their own so I don't expect them to look after mine all the time but I do help my sister with hers and will be taking him 4 mornings a week so she can work whereas I had to quit my job because no was willing to help me. I guess I just feel sorry for myself because I had it hard and they don't even glance my way or realise. I'm wondering if I just feel worse because I'm tired because I haven't been sleeping so it's amplified everything. If I'm still feeling like this in a few weeks I think I will talk to gp. It might be beneficial to talk to someone about it all.

Sorry, had a trying weekend!

I can understand that especially as your putting yourself out for family members who wouldn't do the same for you. Why did you decided to help your sister so much? What do you get in return for that?
How old are your dc? I think the drs would be a good place to start, they might be able to help with the sleeping?