Been offered a 3 bedroom but too scared to move and accept it. My mental health is just going really bad!

[Skysha]

So just to cut it short, we have been living in a 1 bedroom with my husband, son and twin girls for over 2 years now. We have been bidding for a 3 bedroom and have been offered a new build 3 bedroom flat.
I have recently got better from PND but even then have my moments.
Since I got the call yesterday about the offer my health has gone so bad. I'm so scared I cant even explain. I really want this my family need this but I keep having visions that I'm throwing myself off the balcony and silly other stuff. The thought of having to move is already scaring the life out of me. I'm not eating I'm not sleeping I'm a total wreck. I have only just gone back to work (I work in a school) and I know I wont get time off to settle in my new home. I cant refuse it because we need it and my husband isn't aware of how I'm feeling. I'm constantly crying and thinking of how to end my own life. My parents and siblings are abroad and wont be back until the end of the month. We have 1 week from tomorrow to move in or we will be paying rent for both. I'm petrified and so scared. I just dont know what to do. Has anyone experienced this? I'm still known to the local early intervention psychosis team and we were meant to be closing the case soon and I feel like I cant tell them because I'm so scared they will get in contact with work and say I'm not fit enough. I am so grateful for what iv been offered and I have to take it but I'm just so so scared.

Please contact your team. They will be so glad you did, and in time you will too

I cant tell my team. I want my case closed I dont want it open anymore. I wish i could tell them but I cant

Talk to your husband, make a plan and take it one step at a time. Also speak to your work be honest in how you are feeling you will get more support.

It's so silly because I am so lucky to be able to move. I just dont know why I feel like this. Me and my husband are struggling as it is. Soon as I come home he goes work. We hardly get to see each other for more than half an hour. I just hope i feel better soon. I hate feeling like some ungrateful idiot like I'm feeling now.

Please speak to them. I know you want your case closed, but a boy my age was feeling depressed and didn’t want to tell his GP about his problems and he ended up ending his life. Sending hugs to you! I know how it feels to be depressed/anxious/upset of things others would be confused by

Change, even positive change, can feel like trauma. We’re in the process of trying to move without recent PND to contend with and I’m more anxious than I’ve been for literally years including during IVF (which is stressful). So firstly, you’re not being silly, you’re just human. You are allowed to be human!

Secondly, I work in a school and staff get at least 1 day off for moving house; if that’s one of your worries definitely ask about it as that side of things will probably be easier than you think.

Finally, talk to someone about the intrusive thoughts. I don’t think they’ll jump to sign you off work, but they may be able to offer strategies to help and will be able to help keep you safe until your mental health is steadier - life admin stuff is important but your lovely kids still having their mum around is so much more important.

Hang in there - will all be worth it in the end.

I know it will be very difficult to move in but I'm feeling already a little happier. I viewed the property and I feel so lucky and blessed to even have it.

Ah great to hear from you @Skysha and really great to hear you’re feeling a bit better. Keep us posted - just one thing at a time and before you know it you’ll be in and settling down with space to breathe!