What a past 7 weeks.....I daren't cry as I am not going to stop!!!

[twoplusone]

July 19th .. I had my third baby a grogeous little boy called Lee Anthony. Which was great..

A week later I get a phone call from my mum telling me she has breast cancer and needs a masectomy!!! Masectomy booked for 17th August.. Obviously I am very upset.. ( I live in Germnay and she is in the uK.. so couldnt get to see her..)

August.. Lee starts to projectile vomit getting worse everyday.. vomitting after nearly every feed.. Aug 10th took him to docs who sent us tot he hosopital.. spent the weekend there.. docs but it down to gastro as after scans and bloods.. stenosis was ruled out!!.. Home oin the 13th Aug..

16th Aug.. my 4th wedding anniversary.. Lee re admitted as vomitting again and getting worse each day.. scanned on admission and his muscle had grown.. Hypertrophic Pyloris Stenosis confirmed.. he weill need to be operated on..

He was 4weeks old and having an op.. I kow it wasnt a big op but it still frightened me.. his op was scheduled for the next nmorning.. I had him in theatre at 9am.. he came out at 11am .. let everyone in th euk know he was fine and waited for news on my mmum who was having her madsectomy and breast reconstruction that afternoon.
Both ops went well.

The following friday Lee and I left the hospital.. as he is doing really well..

In the mean time dh and I had put in for a move to a bigger married Quarter.. we got it and had a week to move!! packijng up a house unpacking a house and settling three children (aged 10yrs 3yrs and 6weeks) Moved last thursday..

Mum has just informed me that she has to have radio therapy not sure hopw much she finds out more tonight...

We are in the new house dishwasher has broke and so has washing machine.. I know in the light of things this is trivial (the dw and wm been broken) but to me at the mo it is the last straw.

I keep thanking my lucky starts that Lee is ok.. and hoping that my mum wil be too.

I just feeli like everything is building up I havent been able to cry about any of it yet as was in shock when it all happened.. But as everything has happened together I just dont know where to begin.

Sorry it is soo long I just needed to get it of my chest.. I know compared to some my probs are not that bad...

Oh and to top of ex dp has informed me he cant pay maintenance as he has packed his job in.. (never mond that fact he owes me 9 months worth from last year too!!!)

AAAAGGGHJHJJ

please reassure me things ewill start to work themselves out.. I am just hoping that my depression doesnt come back ( have had severe depression in the past.. suicidle etc.. but that is another story!!)

I also feel upset as no one from the UK has seen Lee yet... bar my fil who came over to llok after DS1 and dd whilst dh was at work and I was in hospital with Lee...

Sorry for the ramble.. but I do feel a bit better getting it all down.. Thank you for reading....

That's a lot for anyone to cope with, I'm not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed after the rollercoaster of the last few weeks. Thinking on the bright side is always good if you can do it, but I think giving into your feelings and admitting that things are pretty tough is ok too.

Seeing your baby going through surgery would test even the toughest mum - I'm not sure I'd cope too well. But we do don't we?!

I really hope that things do start to get better soon. Think of it in small chunks - baby Lee making good progress,
dishwasher and washing machine will get fixed.

Then you'll be able to concentrate on supporting your mum if she needs it.

Good luck

((((((((((((twoplusone)))))))))))))

I'm sure you'll get some good advice here- it sounds as if you're coping really well with such a lot. The DW and WM breaking down are not trivial with three lo's. Can you introduce yourself to a neighbour and ask to use her machine, or send DH off to find a service wash, if they have such things in Germany. Good luck and I hope you get lots of support and good news soon.

YOu are doing so well already, I just think it doesn't feel like it from the inside.

YOu saw your baby through surgery, you've held it together and your DH has kept working (don't the army believe in paternity leave?!).. I know I've no clue how it works in the army, but surely there's some kind of system for helping new mums on bases? What about other mums etc.? I know you're all flat against it, but maybe someone can recommend a plumber at the very least?

Busy yourself (!) with getting some photos of Lee with his brother and sister, and get them posted back to the UK, ,not only will you feel better, your mum will love it, and it is a nice thing to do among all hte rubbish you've got to deal with....? Even if that's asking too much of the support network at the moment, can you mobile phone her a picture?

((((((((don't usually do hugs but you sound like you need them!)))))))))

Thanks for your replies..

Jackaroo- DH had just gone back after 4weeks off.. (2weeks leave and 2weeks paternity.) when ds became ill. It was unfortunate that he was on a course.. he was off the day of the op though so we could be together. Hopefully I wil have the machine fixed tommorrow.. (if it can be fixed!!)

Going to get some photos done within the next few weeks of the children for everyone back hoe.. a bloke over the road has a studio in his cellar.

Got some of my mates (who now also live in germany , but we were all friends in Cyprus) coming over and going to the bingo night on camp just to get out of the house and hopefully meet more people.. (if dh gets home intime that is.. if not the girls will just come to mine.. tthey live 20 mins away.)

Find out tonight aswell wether mam needs radiotherapy or chemo....

Must go.. dd is reading ds1 his bedtime story and ds2 sounds like he is inneed of a hug....

thats an awful lot for one person to be dealing with. how is your DS? how is your mum? how are you?

twoplusone ...
You poor poor love, what an awful time you have had ... {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
My DS has pyloric stenosis too and it was just an awful time for me ... so I really really sympathise with that. I had a traumatic birth with him, followed by the PS, followed by a meningitis scare at 6 weeks ... so I really really feel for you xxx
FWIW, He is now a big healthy strong nearly 8 year old who is proud to show his scar to anyone who is interested
Hugs for you re. your mum too {{{{{}}}}}

Hi twoplusone, I saw this thread yesterday and every time I was up in the night feeding LO I was thinking about you...

Not really got any good advice but if it was me, I'd need to find a quiet time when children were in bed and dh was about for a really good cry - holding it all in does me no good at all and I've done it quite a few times in the last 7 weeks - and that's me with a 7-week-old and not really any other problems at all. You're so strong and sometimes there has to be a bit of down time for everyone.

Big hugs and remember to look after yourself as well as everyone else.

thank you for all your kind words..

mum has said the consultant said she is ok to go on a netball tour (she is the army interservices netball coach as her sideline hobby.and they are going to Australia.. (as a spectator obviously) in a few weeks if she feeks up to it and the fkight and he will see her when she gets back.As they cant do any treatment till she has healed from the op.

man coming tommorrow to fix the wm if he cant do it tere and then he is bringing a spare just incase to leave me.

not that it matters but babs was born 18th july...... cant believe i got that wrong in original [ost!!!! ds1 is 19/06 so maybe that is why