I feel like am having a breakdown and don't know what to do

[OldGrinch]

I have been struggling with my mental health, low mood, anxiety and not sleeping well for about the last three years. It started with Menopause. I'm on HRT and was on Sertraline for a couple of years but eventually it seemed to have stopped working so moved to Venlafaxatine which have had for about 6 months. A lot of stress in last few months, my DP may be made redundant. I have a very busy job involving contact with people all the time and I'm finding it so difficult to face it. I'm behind in my work and all my admin. I've been taking tranquilizers to get through the working day and sleeping pills to get through the night. I recently contacted my parents who I have a difficult relationship with and hardly ever see as I felt desperate for some help and support. I didn't know really what I was looking for but sent them a long letter pouring out a lot of feelings. In reply I got sent this tiny bit of paper from them, like the size of a compliments slip and on it they had typed that my letter was ridiculous and that at the age I am I should not be expecting my parents to sort out my issues and they suggested I see a doctor and not worry them again. When I got that letter something just died in me and I felt so awful and wanted to end my life. That was two weeks ago and all I've been thinking about is ways to end it. I don't want to be here anymore. The only thing keeping me here is my two DC, teenagers and I couldn't ruin their lives like that. I'm finding it harder to cope with life and just want to stay in my bed as it's the only place I feel safe. I can't bear the thought of going into work tomorrow. I've literally not moved out of my bed for most of the day. I've never been off sick for mental health and haven't a clue what to say to my boss, but I know I need some kind of help. Just can't go on like this. Please help someone as desperately need a handhold.

So sorry you feel so terrible. Do you think you need to speak to your gp and tell them what you have told us?

You could get some specific help for now, you could get signed off work for a bit.

Sorry not to be more use. You deserve some help. Your parents sound absolutely horrible. Remember you would never do that to your children, you are better than them

Have you told your DP how you feel. I think you need to speak to the doctor tomorrow about your true feelings. Remember if this was a heart problem you wouldn't hesitate so why not for a mental health issue?

Hello @OldGrinch - thank you for opening up about your feelings. Making a connection is a powerful survival instinct. Have you told your DP how you feel? Would s/he be supportive? Do you have a friend you can tell? I know it may seem terrifying but it will help a lot of you can be honest with people IRL just how awful you are feeling and that you have thought about taking your life. If you're not sure DP or a friend would be helpful, then please try Samaritans. Just read out your post here.

And I am so sorry you were so badly let down by your parents. Please see that this is because they are incapable of unconditional love. You are worthy of love. You are loving and lovable ❤️

My husband took Venlafaxine and had terrible side-effects, especially if he missed a dose or took it later than he had the previous day. See your GP to see if you have the right AD. Sending you love- that was an unbelievably cruel response from your parents in your hour of need.

You’re amazing op, and so brave for sharing. Who have you got in real life? If you’re scared you might do something imminently call 999 or present at A+E. if you can keep yourself sage you can call the mental health team or go first thing.

As for time off, you can just say your I’ll, self very for a couple of days with a cold/migraine/tummy ache whatever then make a go apt to get signed off.

Loads of love

OP, you need to make an urgent appointment with your GP. Tomorrow if possible. You need to sign off work for a while and try to get some help in order to process what's going on with your parents as that is an understandable blow.

Please let your partner know what's going on so he can alleviate some of the pressure. You can access therapy at BACP.

If you feel in crisis and are afraid you will hurt yourself then contact 111 for an assessment or go to your local A&E department. Hopefully your GP will give you information on what's available in your local area.

You were relying on your parents to step up and help, they haven't done that and it must feel like a huge rejection. I'm so sorry. Please understand that this is about them, not you.

I'm so sorry you feel like this.
Please take the week off & go to the doctor. Get some counselling.
So sorry to hear your parents responded like that.
Please tell your partner & look after yourself op

Thank you for the replies I really appreciate it. @Wavingnotdrown1ng thanks for explaining re the Venlafaxatine. I never take take it at the same time so I wonder if that's something to do with it. I wanted to try an SNRI as I thought it might be more effective? I will ring GPs tomorrow, just everything is such a mess. I've tried to talk to DP about it but he's never suffered from a mental health condition and is one of those people that doesn't believe in taking tablets. Also he's had to pick up a lot of the house work and though the hasn't said anything I think he's resentful that I'm always in bed. I feel so mentally drained by going to work that I can't face talking to anyone when I get home and just want to crawl into bed. It's been months since I watched any TV like normal people do in the evenings.

Your parents have been unbelievably unkind in their response. Which probably shows a lot of ignorance on their part. This does not reflect on you at all.

As all other PPs have said- first port of call is GP. Ask for a referral to MH team (it will likely be a telephone or online service initially) and a review of mediation.
Get signed off and give yourself a break.

This will get better. You are poorly at the moment so get the help you need.

Also might be worth paying for some counselling initially ip as nhs referral can take a fee months. And sounds like you need it now.
Take things one day at a time. You can get better. Just be kind to yourself 💛

Hi OP, your so-called parents' reply to your request for understanding and support was chillingly despicable of them, and tragic for you. The cold shock of their neglectful note (that they wrote in formal, impersonal typeface ) hit you with full force and deepened the wounding to your self that I'd bet money they caused in the first place, way back when. Please don't doubt for one moment that your needs and feelings are absolutely valid and deserving of love, respect, care and attention. Sadly, it seems certain you won't get any of that precious affection and empathy from their cowardly 'united front' of invalidation. If I met them, someone would have to hold me back. How dare they dismiss your very real desperation and fears about your life struggles?

I would also recommend you look for a good psychotherapist if at all possible on your budget at the moment, because for them to be so ignorant and nasty can't have come out of the blue. You said you have a difficult relationship with them and often avoid contact, and who would blame you? But unfortunately their critical and unloving stance probably goes way back and you would benefit from therapeutic support to sort that out in your mind and your heart so that it doesn't crush you.

I'm so sorry you've been effectively abandoned by those rats, and I don't mean that in a pitying way, but to affirm that you're worth so much more than their stingy little note and you deserve love. Lots of it. Please don't destroy yourself, they don't deserve the satisfaction! You can heal with some focused support and I hope very much that you get that somehow. Hang in there and believe in yourself. I believe in you, you're worth so much more than their dismissal

I take venlafaxine, it got me out of a very black hole.
I’m med phobic as I’m always questioning myself
But this as given me my life back, I still suffer anxiety but always have to a degree.

I always take it same time in the morning with food(a must) even a biscuit or banana if you can’t face food first thing.
If you’ve been on venlafaxine 6 mth, what dose you on now? Have you upped in the last 6 mths.