Please help me focus TW

[PleaseTalk]

I have name changed. I can't sleep and I feel so overwhelmed I want to cut. I haven't done this for about 2 weeks.

Please help me stay focused.

I find music a really good distraction. I've been really fighting the urge lately. Do you know what usually helps you?x

Also is there something in particular that is upsetting you?

Lots of physical disruption at home. Hard time of year at work. Missed a dose or two of anti anxieties. Unwell child. Feel like a DF would prefer some space from me. Some other things as well. Just too much.

Music is a good idea. Thank you.

I have the cat. I'm listening to the cat snore.

I've been where you are so many times.

2 weeks "clean" is a fantastic achievement, well done. You CAN keep that going. Distraction works best for me. Aim to do something else for just 5 minutes. Once you've done that do another 5. If that feels overwhelming then just do a minute at a time, you can do anything for a minute.

Try watching a funny YouTube video, reading a Mumsnet classics thread or washing your hands in something that smells nice.

Honestly, before long the intense urge will start to pass and you'll know that you felt it, rode the wave and have started to come down the other side. You can do this.

Have a virtual hug too.

Sounds like lots to.contend with so be kind to yourself.
I quite often make myself a cold drink with ice cubes in it. I think things that stimulate the senses are good - well they are for me.
I try and ground myself a bit. I've just sat with the back door open and taken some deep intakes of the cold night air. It sounds naff but the sound of the rain and the cold air definitely helped.
Do you have anyone in rl you can rely on for support?

I'm washing my hands all the time atm. I'll be washing my hands as soon as the cat moves. My skin is so dry. I feel old and frumpy and unimportant.

But thank you, StillNotANewUser those messages are kind and helpful.

And thank you, PinkGinAndTacos I like cold fresh air too. I have DH but he's having a hard time too and I don't want to burden him.

A cat's purr is very relaxing to listen to. I found out through google something about a cat's purr can help broken bones or something ? Something to do with the frequency it emits.

I sometimes suffer from panic attacks and opening the back door (whatever the time of night) to get some fresh air really helps, it helps when I feel like I can't breathe and in a weird way, helps me connect with the outside world and not feel so isolated, and takes me out of my own mind for a few minutes.

'Grounding' can be helpful - think of 5 things you see, 4 things you can smell, 3 things you can touch, 2 you can hear and 1 thing you could taste. It also forces you to focus your mind on something else.

My2catsarefab I've heard that too.

Thank you - I'd forgotten the grounding stategy.

I made it to morning. Thank you. Daylight helps.

That's good to hear. There's something about night time darkness that feels suffocating and isolating, as if you are the only person in the world awake at that time.

I've retrained my brain and actually like night time now and the peace and quiet. Social media sites in the small hours are a good distraction, I follow a lot of funny pages on twitter.