How to handle horrid experience with GAD

[BlueCookieMonster]

Hello,

Mental health never been the best, have an interesting history to say the least.

Recently, work (work in NHS) has been impossibly stressful and morale is very low. I recently put in paperwork to move on to the next progression point. Have been saying for ages to my manager that I was nearly there, her, very encouraging.

Put it in, but they want to delay my progression point for a while to get my confidence up, fair enough.

However, this has properly knocked me. It doesn’t help that it seems to be my pattern that whenever I come to try and move up a level, qualify etc. I almost always need two goes at it. The last time this happened was deeply traumatic, and I suppose I still haven’t properly dealt with it.

So this has left me reeling to say the least, I keep crying, feel so down and hopeless. I realise this is probably my mind going, ‘hold up, start the AD’s again.’

I’m trying to put things in place, but these things take a while. How do I deal with the sadness in the meantime? My anxiety is sky high and I’m second guessing everything at the moment. I just can’t seem to be ‘normal’ I somehow need to be ‘perfect.’

Any help? X

I'm really sorry to hear that OP. How disappointing. I'm not surprised you're feeling down and tearful.

Are you getting any support? Are you having therapy? Do you have a support network? It might be an idea to visit your GP and have a chat and, perhaps start ADs again if they helped you before.

I'm wondering if, once you feel a bit better, you have a meeting with your boss in order to discuss what kind of changes she would like to see in order to you to be able to progress. Getting 'your confidence up' is a bit vague - what does that mean in real terms? Does she want you to lead more? Make quicker decisions? Act more on your own initiative? If so, that's something you can work on. Perhaps there is training or other support available.

This is just a bump OP. You have a supportive boss and it's something you can work on.

I hope things start to look better soon.

I don't believe anybody is 'normal, scratch the surface and there is something going on with everyone! And being perfect is a tall , impossible order!

I just wonder if your manager is sabotaging your attempts to get on As you might be a valuable member of staff and if you progress on she might not have you working for her, not sure, just a wild guess!
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Could you apply for a job somewhere else , where job progression is easier?

Do you have support from family and friends or a partner?

Please don't grind yourself down.

I wouldn’t mind, but I spent that week in charge because they wanted me to do that last week, it was very stressful. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have put myself through the stress of it 🙄.

I do have a meeting lined up, but I am still angry about it. I do know what they want me to work on, and it’s doable. Just wish it had been brought to me sooner rather than at the point I was hoping to do a progression point.