Can't hurt if I'm fat right?

[Theodoreb]

I have bipolar 1 and schizophrenia. When I was young I suffered with anorexia but had therapy and although I have bad days I usually cope. To stop weight gain from 20mg olanzapine I usually only eat one small meal once a day and that slowed the weight gain right down. However I still gained up to a size 14-16 so about a week ago I stopped eating and started taking laxatives I've lost a stone so far but surely it's ok as I'm fat? I will stop once I lose the weight so this can't hurt right?

You need to go and talk to your doctor about this. That’s a really unhealthy way to lose weight and you could easily tip over into an eating disorder.

What you are doing is dangerous and will be detrimental to your health. Please go and talk your GP so that they can give you advice and support.

Am sure you know the answer without posting

I used to be bulimic and what you need to consider is that you will be losing your medication from your system risking getting worse mentally.

I am on a mood stabiliser and gained weight too, it is worth talking to your GP or mental health team to see if there are weight neutral meds which will help.

Of course with bulimia just stopping is next to impossible too.

A body needs fuel. It will not ignore the fact that you are starving yourself no matter how much 'fuel' it has stored so you must be ravenous. The fact that you are ignoring presumably very uncomfortable hunger pangs suggests this is already an eating disorder and is very unlikely you'll just settle into 'normal' eating at some point.

I would see your GP and / or seek some private counselling if you can afford it.

Of course it’s not ok. Please seek professional medical advice and support.

You'll damage your heart and organs doing that, and the weight won't stay off as you'll lose water and muscle before the fat if you're starving and purging.

This obviously isn't healthy physically and it's not healthy mentally either. Your thinking around weight and food is still very dysfunctional. Please seek help from your therapist again. Wishing you luck in your recovery.

I guess I know it's not the healthiest but I have tried all sorts of healthy ways to lose weight and nothing works. I can deal with the weight gain most of the time but my mood has dropped the last two weeks and I'm finding it harder to cope with the weight.

I see my psychiatrist on the 13th of March, there is no option to switch medication as last time I switched I ended up very bad. If it really is damaging I can try to slowly start eating again but I just hate this weight gain. I thought it wouldn't be that damaging as I have plenty of fat stores for it to use up.

What makes me hate it more is people don't believe that I hardly eat anything and do exercise and I need to stop allowing other people's ignorant thoughts effect me really. I tried swimming 50 lengths every day but I did it for 3 months and found it so should destroying to get on the scales and see I had only lost 4lbs, not to mention the fact that no one believed me.

Can you try and eat well and not gain weight before March appointment? Perhaps they can help with more than medication ? An actual plan?

Exercise can build up muscle rather than lose weight. It also needs to be regular to be effective, not in one burst. 14-16 is not unusual a size though and your starving won't necessarily help reduce that long term or make you more healthy. If you feel otherwise you gave disordered eating. You will initially lose fluid and could become dehydrated and unwell. Are you supposed to take your medication with food?

It will take time to start eating again I'll start with a banana as being honest my mum who lives with me is starting to question why I always skip meals lately,

I used to swim 5times a week. I stopped owing to a bad chest infection and when I went to renew my membership two weeks ago was informed the pool is shut for 6 months to be refurbished that's when I first started cutting my food down.

I take so many tablets it's hard to remember if I'm supposed to take them with food I take 20mg olanzapine 7.5mg zopiclone 5mg diazepam 0.5mg clonazepam 100mg lamotrogene and 15mg mirtazapine. I take them all in the evening at the same time every night as that's what I was told to do so I take them at 8-9 as they make me very sleepy.

My only option on medication change is to change to clozapine but my psychiatrist wants to hold of as long as possible until the olanzapine stops working for me. Although clozapine has 10%less weight gain than olanzapine.

Also I know this is linked to my bad image with eating but when I restrict my food I feel positive, happy and good, if I eat I feel really down and guilty.

I wish the healthcare profession really took how seriously weight gain from drugs can damage a person's mental health. In some countries certain ADs that are known for weight gain are given with another one that counteracts that side effect but here it's like, well, too bad, your mental health is more important and don't take into account how damaging the gain can be to both mental and physical health.

You know what you're doing isn't good for you, OP, but I have sympathy with how you feel.

@datasgingercatspot

I really don't get why they don't understand that getting over weight because of meds causes severe problems in most cases non compliance.

I really don't get why they don't understand that getting over weight because of meds causes severe problems in most cases non compliance.

Because it's not happening to them and the patient is often not seen holistically as an individual but as his/her conditions. Yes, the patient's mental health is paramount, but severe weight gain directly affects that mental health and also the physical health - obesity can cause serious health problems and also inhibit exercise in addition to worsening depression and anxiety.

Now I feel disgusting was hungry so eat a McDonald's and I feel fat as hell really putting myself down. I'm trying not to purge really hard.

If you’ve not purged already please try and think of all the positives to being eating disorder free.
I know it doesn’t feel like it in the moment but when we’re hungry our bodies need food.
Maybe try and keep a stock of healthier options for when you feel you need something and that way even if you binge you might feel a bit less guilty for it?
When we starve ourselves and with the use of laxatives too and then start eating again it is inevitable that we will gain a bit back faster than usual but it will stabilise itself out.
I can’t speak for the medication but is there an option to see a nutritionist who will have the right knowledge?
I speak from personal experience and although I do battle these feelings from time to time I am so much happier for being at a steady weight and eating a good diet.
I have done long term damage to my bowels and regularly have an upset stomach, am anaemic and have heart palpitations which are being looked into as a result of all this in the past and I wish I could take it all back.
If you need someone to talk to I’m here

@Hypnotisedmesmerised I didn't purge and like you I have also done severe damage to my stomach and bowels mine is a mix of making myself be sick and laxatives then put the final nail in the coffin by becoming a drug addict. Last time I swallowed a drug I was on a drip for a month as couldn't even hold water down and now if I ever swallow a drug again I could die.

But I definitely need to get some healthy food in the house I try not buying food I like so I won't eat but then when hunger gets the best of me I end up binge eating crap. And your right I wouldn't feel so guilty if I had healthy food. Seeing a nutritionist is definitely a option and one I hadn't thought of as my medication mean I'm entitled to any help with regards to weight gain my psychiatrist already gave me the exercise referral scheme and told me he will help any way he can with the weight gain.

@Theodoreb well done! I’m really pleased to hear that you didn’t purge
What’s done is done but it can be worked on now and that’s the important thing to remember.
It’s difficult I know but even if you have a supply of lower calorie foods and pre prepare some cold meats and veg sticks etc to have to hand in the fridge depending on what you like then there’s something for when you feel like you need something but are struggling with the thoughts.
I find it quite helpful to work towards eating a healthy diet for the week and then allocating a day a week to have the ‘nice’ things that you really like.
I would absolutely take up the nutritionist option as it’s available to you as they could work alongside what works and doesn’t work with the medications you’re taking and they can help with full knowledge of calories in and what you will burn so you feel safer and more in control with it.
It sounds like you have some great options available to you but it’s not the same as getting all of it out so please use this to get some additional support if you feel like you need it. I’ll always be happy to chat