Telephone assessment for counselling when you have anxiety about talking on the phone

[happypotamus]

How is that going to work out?!
I very reluctantly agreed to my manager referring me to my workplace employee assistance counselling service. There are various reasons why she thinks this is a good idea. They called the other day to arrange an assessment which will be a 20-30 minute phone call within a 1 hour time slot tomorrow. I hate talking on the phone, avoid it wherever possible and have to psych myself up to make unavoidable calls. I really struggle with face to face talking about the kinds of things I assume will come up in this assessment anyway but a phone conversation is much worse.
Any advice?

Honestly i would tell them very early on in the conversation, explain that you struggle with the phone thus for while you're willing to do a phone one to get the help that you'd prefer a face to face, and you might forget things.

I would write down some key points before the call such as how your anxiety affects you, when you notice it, what you would like support with. I would also write down any questions you want to ask. After the phone call i would make some brief notes recapping what was said eg they will call me in 2 weeks
Find a nice comfy place for the call with limited destractions and maybe things you find calming eg a nice blanket or photos. Try and also find a way of filling the time around the slot so you feel prepared but equally arent sat by the phone waiting.

Thanks fullofrain
My manager who made the referral and knows how hard this is going to be also suggested telling them I can't do it by phone and asking for a face to face assessment, but I don't know if that will be possible. I wanted to plan things to do around the appointment time so I don't sit in the house worrying about it, but DH just told me he has arranged for a kitchen appliance to be delivered so I will have to stay in (not sure what happens if the delivery comes while I am on the phone because it's not as simple as just opening the door, saying thank you and closing it again, and, yes, he did know about the phone call)

I don't know if this will help, but my dad suffers like this with phone calls. He can do it if he closes his eyes whilst on the phone, using in ear headphones with the microphone bit on

majority of mental health provision in England now, whether NHS or insurance, starts with a phone triage for convenience and cost reasons. It is really well understood though that some people are phobic of the phone and/or socially anxious. e.g. for many who are socially anxious not being able to scan the reaction of the person they are talking to causes more anxiety. If you can find the words to explain you are phobic of the phone this will be understood and hopefully your provider has provision for a face to face assessment. If they don't and you are in England then you can refer yourself to your local IAPT service who will also want to phone triage you but certaintly if pushed will make a face to face assessment available.
It's very hard to take the first step but therapy can really help to overcome this and make life easier for you

I had exactly the same problem when first accessing CBT for anxiety. At the time I completely couldn't answer the phone if I didn't know who was calling, and these things always seem to be withheld numbers so caller ID doesn't help. I arranged for them to put in the notes to ring me on the landline and start leaving a message explaining who they were, and I would then pick up, which they did and it worked well. After the initial assessment I had cbt over the phone once a week for a few of months until a face to face slot was available (which I did point out was rather ridiculous considering the problems I was presenting with, but this was NHS iapt, and I understand they are massively overstretched) and she followed the same method of letting the phone ring out, and speaking to me on the answerphone until I picked up. After maybe 8 appointments I didn't need her to do that any more and would answer the phone as soon as it rang. I still have to psyche myself up a bit to answer the phone or make a call, but compare that to sitting on my bed shaking waiting for the phone to ring, and for the whole half hour appointment - I'm a million miles better than I was at the start and I'm sure you will be too. Maybe they do it deliberately - a form of exposure therapy ?!

I had a telephone referral, and was incredibly nervous about it. However, the chap I spoke to was brilliant and it was fine.

Your dh sounds unsupportive

In the first instance OP you could self refer to IESO (which may cover your area). They have a contract to run a messaging based CBT service. It’s quick referral and free to use and it might allow you to get across your problem and get some help to get you off the starting blocks. I’m not recommending avoidance of the phone but I do know, as an IAPT CBT Therapist myself that it is tricky to get a F2F assessment (but not impossible).

BTW, if your work place counselling service is purely counselling it might not be as helpful as CBT which is much more useful for anxiety.

I feel your pain, OP - my DD18 has been trying to access adult MH services since being discharged from CAMHS but has anxiety and selective mutism so she hasn't been able to have the initial phone assessment. Several times.

Also:
DH just told me he has arranged for a kitchen appliance to be delivered so I will have to stay in

What are you, his skivvy?

youokhun my manager says this referral should lead to cbt. I assume she has information about what they offer (you can self-refer to the service so I could probably look this up myself but I have been on annual leave for the past week). I haven't heard of IESO and my GP did discuss the self-referral option available to me some time ago (I insisted I was fine and didn't do anything with that information). I don't know if this is anxiety or what it is really. The talking on the phone thing is just a small part of it.

The assessment was ok, I survived, I kept up my side of the conversation most of the time with only a few extended silences which probably would have happened if I was in the same room as the person. The outcome is the assessment is reviewed to see if I am suitable (no idea what the criteria are for being suitable or not) for 'up to 6 sessions of focused therapy.' They let me in about a week, but I got the impression that the therapy could start very soon rather than waiting months by going via GP to IAPT. I don't know how 6 sessions will make everything better, but it is hopefully worth a try.

Great news, OP - glad you got through it!

I've been through this process, well similar.
Don't feel worried if you're not feeling 'better' as the sessions come to a close ( hopefully you will obviously though).
In my experience and the experiences of a friend, these sessions don't abruptly stop and leave you hanging if you're still in need and therapist thinks they can help you further. They can be extended ,plus if the therapist thinks you would benefit then they (after the initial 6 weeks) will pass you over to a more experienced high intensity therapist ( up to 12weeks I believe).