Teen with very low mood and suicidal thoughts

[TheletterZ]

I posted this is children’s health but thought people on here might be better able to help.

My daughter is suffering from very low mood and suicidal thought at the moment. Her school have been fantastic, straight into see the school councillor and doctors appointments. She is seeing a specialist on Monday (we are paying as there is such a long wait for CAMHs). School have also said they want her to stay off school, while so low as they can't grantee they can keep her safe in school.

There has been no obvious triggers - she likes school and is doing very well (maybe too well and we have spoken before that she doesn't need perfect score etc...) Some really good friends and then a circle of secondary friends, there haven't been any falling outs that I (or school) know about.

Everything seemed fine until about 3 weeks ago and it very rapidly spiraled downwards.

I am having to take time off work, which is another thing to juggle and arrange, especially as I have no idea how long I might need to take off. I think I will have to take parental leave, but I've never done that before and don't even know how it all works.

So this thread is partially just a hand hold but also if anyone has been in a similar situation and how long it might take (I know - how long is a piece of string!)

Hi, there's an ongoing thread in Teenagers about coping with teens mental health, its called 'holding on to the edge of the rope' or something similar.
Hope this helps (parent of 15yr old DS with poss depression).

Thank you, I will go and find it. It is hard to know where to post sometimes!

Sending you a hand hold, hoping the thread mentioned above helps

You don't mention how old she is, but my daughter went through similar at around 14, and after 2 overdoses she was diagnosed with being severely dyslexic and the fact that it had gone undiagnosed for so long was one of the big causes. She was then also diagnosed as being on the spectrum. I hope you get the help you need.

Thank you. She is 15. She had a day out with her dad today, which gave us both a break from each other! She seems a bit more herself today, still very quiet but a bit more there (if you see what I mean).

Just taking it one day at a time.

Presumably you've started high doses of vitamin D in case she is deficient? Has her GP done blood tests? Any hormonal triggers? How was the atmosphere at home between you and DH before is started? Any tension? Any tension with siblings. A lightbox in case she is severely affected by SAD? Did you notice if she seemed down last winter?
If there are no emotional issues causing this, I'd be looking for medical reasons for low mood.

Is she talking to you at all.
What I found hardest was that my DD doesn't when really upset.
You are doing all you can with counciling and she will know this.All you can do is be available to listen,make sure she eats and drinks enough.
The helplessness is really hard but with help she has to find her own way.There may be a reason if this is sudden and out if character you have to be patient and watch and wait.Offer hugs when she'll accept them.
It is hard and you need to care for yourself too.Wishing you the strength to see this through.

Diana makes a very good point - it is absolutely worth getting the doctor to do blood tests - I forgot to mention that DD was deficient in various vitamins and minerals. Her Cortisol levels are also abnormal.

Thanks all, she takes a multi vitamin but not specifically vit d (though her brother does as he was deficient). I will ask the doctor next time to do the blood checks just to make sure.

No tensions at home, gets on ok with younger brother, normal annoyances only (he’s used all the hot water etc...). Fortunately she is talking to us, not her usual chatty self, but she is communicating. And lots of hugs, which is very unusual for her.

She was much better yesterday and today is sorting her wardrobe so fingers crossed, there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

Glad she's ok now. If this happens again I would go back to camhs and insist on an immediate assesssment. Her level of need should push her up the wait list. Or take her to a and e and get fast tracked that way. The camhs service once you are in will be able to provide better wrap around care than a private clinician.

There is just such a long wait to get seen by CAHMs and I am not sure she is immediate enough. So while she has been thinking suicidal thoughts she didn’t have a plan on how she would do it. Which is fantastic from my point of view but puts her at lower level for CAHMs.

I almost wish she was door banging and yelling I’m ruining her life rather than this silent retreat. But lots of hugs, baking and crafting (fimo and felting) seem to be slowly working.

Word of warning about relying on CAMHS - it varies depending on where you are. DD took an overdose, CAMHS assessed her and decided it "wasn't serious enough" for them to see her, so - guess what? She took another overdose and was close to death. We went private, and she wouldn't be here if we hadn't.

@chocolateisavegetable, which is why I don’t think they will see my daughter, their threshold for seriousness is ridiculously high. I’m sorry you and your daughter had to go through that and I hope she is in a much better place now.

Meeting with psychiatrist went very well, very long and intense meeting but very useful. She is more down and at risk than I realised, I have spoken to work and I am going to take extended leave at work so I can be there for her.

Her treatment is an antidepressant, melatonin to help her sleep, 1hr of cardio exercise a day and DBT.

I'm lucky that my daughter was never suicidal but she did suffer from depression at university and found that yoga was a massive help. Since then she's never suffered as badly - her body has changed shape and now she loves exercise and finds it really good for her mental health.

Does her cycle affect her? Periods can be very destabilising, especially with the teenage hormones already causing havoc.

Sending love to you both. Please let her know there are strangers out here who do not judge, have often been in similar situations and have made it through.