Does anyone have experience of a friend or family member having a marked personality change after EMDR therapy? My sister had treatment for PTSD about 18 months ago and since then has gradually become what I can only describe as a complete cow.
She had it to help her deal with the aftermath of an abusive relationship, but we both had an abusive childhood and are NC with other family members so I know a lot of that trauma will have come up too. She found the treatment difficult and didn’t want to talk about it so I don’t know many details, but I think she had about 5 sessions.
In the time since then, she’s lost a massive amount of weight, too fast for good health really (e.g. her hair fell out, and her hands turned orange because she was eating so many carrots) and she’s become very snotty about the fact that I need to lose weight myself. (I know this, but don’t need reminding constantly, particularly as she also offers me fattening crap at every opportunity.) She’s also become assertive to the point of aggression. She’s walked out of one job because she was constantly at loggerheads with colleagues and is on the brink of being fired from another because she’s been bullying her coworkers. She told me all about it and seemed proud of having put people ‘in their place’. It’s as though she has taken on the role of the abusers we suffered from as children. It feels like she’s being driven by a hypnotic suggestion that’s too extreme - like she’s got exactly the power she asked for but it’s a toxic thing now she’s got it.
I’ve tried to be understanding. I realise that when people get stronger, those who’ve known them at their weakest can be thrown off by their new assertiveness, but all these years she and I have supported each other and no one wanted her to get strong more than me. Now that she is, she’s using her new-found confidence to bully me and everyone else and I am just at the end of my tether with all the criticism, sneering and nastiness. She’s the only family I have left (we are both NC with all the others) so I’m really saddened to find myself feeling like this, but there are limits to what I feel I can put up with for my own mental health. (Fortunately I have a supportive partner and good friends, so I’m OK, but her behaviour is particularly triggering because of the associations with the past.)
Does anyone else have experience of this? Any advice? Could it be the EMDR? Has it not been done properly or might this occur if she stopped without completing all her sessions? Is it just coincidence? I was considering EMDR myself but not after this. I would really appreciate any insights.