Hi, sorry this might be a long one as I have a lot on my chest I need to get off and just looking for some advice as would be greatly appreciated.
I'm 22 with a daughter who is 3. I was with her father for over 4 years and we broke up last year but I am happily in a new relationship. My relationship with her father was very toxic and he completely and utterly destroyed me as a person as he was mentally abuse and very violent, never towards me or my daughter but would destroy objects, the house etc. After 3 years of wanting to leave I finally got the courage to do it last year and I've been so happy since. Since the break up I've had to cut my hours at work to work around my daughters nursery hours which means I'm averaging at about a £500-£600 loss every month. I get universal credits and now have my own council flat. Since getting my own place I have been struggling majorly financially, I try to pick up any extra hours at work to help but I just don't have many options for child care as her dad doesn't actually look after her when she goes there, his granny does. I also get paid two weekly which means I'm really struggling to cover bills as I just don't have enough money, I'm constantly skint, but my universal credits isn't enough to cover all my bills either. I've been on a CAP Money Management course to try help and me organise my finances better but it's just not manageable as I only get £220 every two weeks. I've been trying so hard to find a new job which pays monthly but I'm just not having any luck. I feel like the worst mother as I sometimes can't even afford to pay for gas (we are pay as you go) and we have to sit in a freezing cold flat for days until I have money. Her father doesn't financially help me, I've recently gone to the CSA and they told me I would be exempt from the application fee as he is abuse towards me but because I've not reported him to the police I have to pay it and I just genuinely can't afford £20 to pay to get some money off him. On top of this I've just had an email from UC saying if I don't find a job with any hours, any pay or any experience then they will stop my payments for 3 months which will literally leave me homeless. I can't just pick any job with any hours as I have my daughter to look after. I'm completely and utterly disappointed with myself for letting myself get so bad mentally but I'm one to help people but never ask for help myself. But yesterday when I went into work I ended up having a breakdown and a panic attack which I've never had before. I just need a break but I can't afford to be signed off work as I would only get £50 a week sick pay. I've not taken any holidays since May last year as I just again can't afford to be off and I'm just so over tired and over worked and over living the way I am.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you in advance