Tips for self help?

[Barneythedinosaur]

Does anyone have any tips or ideas on how I can pick myself up?

I dont know what is wrong with me, but I am so so down.
I have had times with low mood in the past, but nothing like this. I had PND after the birth of my child and felt like I couldnt cope, but that finally resolved a few months ago.

But in the past few weeks i have just had this crashing low. I keep thinking about the paracetamol in the medicines box and what would happen if i just took it. Tonight i was making packed lunches in the kitchen and found myself staring at the knife, wanting to hurt myself.
Nothing has triggered it that I can think of. Nothing is wrong with me as such. I just have this numbness and feeling that I'm lost.
Im tired constantly. Zero energy. No motivation to do anything. No appetite for real food yet I can eat junk, stuff I dont even normally like.

How can I fix this?

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low.

Please phone the doctors tomorrow and tell them you need an emergency appointment.

Is there anyone you can confide in who can help look after you xxx

Just want to clarify that I dont actually intend to hurt myself.
I know it wouldn't be fair on my child and I cant do it to them.
I still have the thoughts though and sometimes it's like I cant control them. I just want to sleep and not wake up, that way it wouldn't be my "fault" as such.

Not really anyone I can talk to.

I could talk to my husband but he isnt great with MH stuff and wouldn't understand. There is nothing wrong with my life so he just wouldnt get why I'm feeling like this. I've tried mentioning about wanting affection and he just doesnt understand really.
When i had PND and I spoke to him he told all his family and my family so that everyone could pull around and help. And they did, and it was fine. But I dont want them knowing this. And his only way to deal with it would be looking for outside support I think.

There are 3 friends who I could possibly speak to, but I just feel embarrassed. I dont have the words to explain. And I wouldnt be able to explain and they would want me to.

I've been there it's absolutely horrible, what helped you get through your PND have you thought about medication??

I've had a similar experience with DD2 have had anxiety all my life but PND after DD2 have been taking citalapram for a while and has helped beyond belief xxx

I don't think it matters if there's anything going on in your life or not, it's a chemical imbalance that is making you feel like that, nothing that you are doing. And is no reflection on you. I would go and see a doctor as soon as possible and get some help. I have had that all consuming feeling and it is absolutely horrible op xxx