Those who go to counselling or therapy

[SausageSimon]

Would you find it appropriate for your counsellor to say you are a special person?

(I'm intentionally keeping this question short without details)

@SausageSimon - Usually the most important point in a session will either be forgotten before it's raised, or brought up in the last few minutes. But a good therapist will know that. They may never point it out, but it will inform their approach.

@AFistfulofDolores1 are you a therapist? Your knowledge has been very helpful and much appreciated

@SausageSimon - You're welcome. I started training as a psychodynamic psychotherapist, but couldn't complete it for personal reasons (money! time! divorce!). But I've been in therapy for about 20 years, too, so it's a world I'm somewhat immersed in.

I'm a therapist and agree that its this kind of reaction or rupture within your relationship with your therapist which is a big part of the work. If you can be congruent and tell her how you feel about her comment then it could be something enriching to work through. I use "prizing" at times with my clients to help them to see aspects of themselves that they may deny and this can sometimes create a negative response but its working through that which is most important.

I'm in therapy and I read your comment and felt really jealous that I've never been told I'm special...perhaps I will try and raise that at my next session so thank you!

Hi everyone I'm back! Haha.

I just have another question so thought I'd post here rather than making a new thread

I seem to talk to my counsellor a lot in my head through the week! In fact most of the time that's what I'm doing Does anyone else do the same?
I worry I'm obsessive and being weird

@Woollycardi that's really interesting that you've said that Woolly! I feel a bit uncomfortable with direct clearly personal compliments, and here you are feeling you want them

I think if he'd said "you deserve to feel special like everyone else" I wouldn't have batted an eyelid, but to say I'm a special person is like saying I'm better than others. I do over analyse things though

Thats not weird....its internalising the "good enough " relationship you seem to have with her

I'm a therapist too, and I can see myself saying something along these lines but I'm not sure id use the word 'special'. I might say 'x behaviour and y quality suggests to me you are a x person who cares about x'.

Something I have noticed on here is that people are very quick to rubbish counsellors on the basis of a comment the OP has said they made and suggest they get a new one.

Counsellors are just people, they don't always hit the mark and may say something clunky or that doesn't land, like others have said the real work in therapy happens when these things can be named and explored together - leaving that counsellor and finding another is not always the best strategy (not saying there aren't some rubbish ones of course!)

I didn't mention in the OP as I didn't know whether it would change the way people felt about the comment but I'm female and my counsellor is male 

I feel really odd for talking to him in my head all week long

@Jiggles101 thank you for your input too Jiggles, I'm definitely happy with my counsellor and how things are going and wouldn't want to leave. He's helped me to realise what could have contributed to my low self esteem and I feel like I can trust him and tell him anything. But I think the reason I questioned him saying I'm a special person was I didn't think it was appropriate for a counsellor to say, I feel like if I said that it'd only be to a romantic interest. But of course that doesn't mean that's how he would use it

And you're right they're only people, we have laughed a few times where he has gone to say something and used the completely wrong word