I'm going to explode. Just want it to end

[Changingmyname4help]

I am so desperate for this to be over. I can't face the people who have made my depression worse but I'm expected to go to a party where they are next weekend. I would rather die than see them. I've been told I have to go and if I don't then I'm unsupportive. I don't want my children around them. I don't want to watch them pretending they are nice people. I don't want to do this. Even if i don't go, my children will still be going and k cannot face it. I feel so out of control and I can't cope. I feel like my chest is about to cave in. I dont know what to do.

You don't have to go. Nobody should be using this against you. Anyone who is does not have your best interests at heart. Forget them and focus on what you need

But by doing what I want am completely disregarding someone else's mental health. Someone I love.

If they knew how badly you were feeling, I doubt they’d want you to go.

I feel like I can't breathe. I just cannot cope.

Hi Changingmyname4help,

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We really hope things look a lot brighter for you and your family soon OP.

Please speak to someone tonight about how you are feeling. Please call the Samaritans if you have no friends or family to support you.

I'm sorry I posted this here, I shouldn't have. It's unfair to put this on people. Thank you for those that took the time to reply

Don't be sorry!

Obviously I don't know the back story here, but you really don't have to go to this party. I agree with others who say to call the Samaritans or similar, you will be able to tell them the whole thing and they will be able to help you.

And you can post here to if you want to

Never be sorry OP, post whenever and wherever you need to. We’re here for you. Never feel like you have to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable 💕

Hello please don't worry - I'm happy to listen and be here for you as are others you are not a burden / worry / problem for us I promise.

It's a short term solution but can you just pretend you are ill so you don't go to the party but the other person is a bit protected as it's not your direct choice not to go??

But longer term, you will learn that it's Ok to stand up for yourself and it's ok to put yourself and your needs first - especially if it makes you feel like this when you don't.

Have you anyone with you now?

Why do your children have to go? Have you got family you can take them to? If they are in that much danger can you phone the police?

They are not in danger. My husband will take them. He has as much right to decide what to do with the children as I do.